Wishing for lumpy pockets to pave the desire…

So recently all I can think about it travelling. Although you could say that recently is only the last few days or the last few years or all my life.

I do tend to blame my love for new places and my dislike for staying in the same place for too long a period of time on my parents, due to them moving me all over the country as a child and of course we had quite a few wonderful – and not all fully remembered – family holidays. I’m not really complaining though, but as I stated in my last post I’m not one to travel alone, maybe that’s because I never really have. Sure I’ve travelled from here to home and trips like that, but nothing really ‘bigger’ than that and I would like to, although I’d prefer not to have to do it alone.

I want to go to New Orleans the summer after next, mainly because then I’ll be able to drink and what not, but I’m also hoping that by then American airport security will have died down a little. American Airport security is one of the many reasons I’ve never been to American, unless you think that the Caribbean is part of it – which one of friends does.

I’ve spent the last couple hours trying to work out how much it will cost to go to Japan with my friends next summer, as one of them invited me to come with him and some other people. Although he estimated the trip to cost around £4000, but all the calculations come up with it only costing around £2000, so I’m not sure where he got the extra £200 from, or I’m remembering what he said wrong, because that’s a pretty damn big difference. Although maybe it’s the time of year that you go that changes the price, but I didn’t think it would change that much. So right now I’m sort of thinking about starting to properly save my money for that, but then again my friends have been talking about going to Italy next summer, which I would also really like to do – oh the dilemma – maybe I can earn the money to do both. I’m going to have to diffidently get a job for next semester. Which is another thing I’m going to research and try and find out that I can do, pays alright and can perhaps be related to what I may want to do in the future, because at the moment I’m not really sure what I want to do with my life, which just makes the idea of leaving university even more daunting.

Ah it’s times like these that I wish I was a millionaire and I think about playing the lottery more often, in the hopes of becoming one. I’m still playing the postcode lottery, but it’s extremely slim chance that I will ever win that one, because not many people around me play it and although the pot is up to £100 a day, winning that couldn’t really pay for a trip, although it wouldn’t hurt.

Ah I shouldn’t complain about money problems when I don’t even have a job, as my brother keeps reminding me, whenever I say anything to him. I just don’t think I’ll be very good at anything really. Maybe a supermarket, stocking shelves and stuff like that, I think I wouldn’t do too well on the till, at least not at first – for the first few months.

Quote/saying of the day: We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfilment. – Hilaire Belloc

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If I headed for the hills would you come with me?

So I’ve sort of worked it out with my friends, honestly it wasn’t that hard, because they’re modern people and can put stuff aside and move on, which I’m not sure if is a good or bad thing in the long run, but I suppose right now that doesn’t matter too much.

My new atomizer arrived today, so I’ve been vaping on that all day and I have to say that it is amazing compared to my old ones, you can really taste the e-juice, plus with the istick the old atomisers had a habit of spitting hot juice at me and breaking quickly, so I’m really glade it arrived today, because my throat can’t take any more boiling liquid being splashed on it. I know why don’t I just stop for a while? Well I’m not too sure, I suppose I’m a little hooked or something – and I’m not even vaping the stuff with nicotine.

I’ve been looking into festivals to go to over the summer, since I think my dreams of going abroad with my friends are dashed, not that I’m going to stop trying and what not, but I’m looking for fun things to do, just in case that doesn’t work out, plus it seems that everyone is making summer plans, bar me, so I want to do something. I am not just going to lazy around all summer, I’ve got about 4 months off, because of freshers and my exams finishing so early and what not, so I’m going to try and make the most of it, even if that means I can’t do it with my friends like I would have liked.

Sure I’m far to scared to go travelling abroad by myself, mainly because I’m not the luckiest person or the most cautious person in the world, which when you add being in the country where you don’t know the language or anyone or anything, can be dangerous combination and I’m quite a shy and timid person in strange, wonderful and new places, so I might not have as good a time, plus it could be really lonely and how wants to feel lonely?

And then there’s travelling alone as a woman – I know that’s sort of sexist or whatever – but I feel like in some places it’s not the best idea.

But I have to believe in my… faith I guess you would call it, why not faith in the universe. It’s this idea or theory or idea based on a religious idea/ideal, that if you want something bad enough the whole universe conspires to help make it happen, that’s not to say that you don’t have to try and universe does not do things for you, it just helps. Because in my own potentially twisted way I do believe in destiny and although I may never be prime minister or leader of the free world or whatever, I hope I’m going to live forever. I know wishful, slightly delusional thinking, but hey ho I’m slightly delusional and I like to daydream, well I’ve know that about myself for a long time and there is the possibility – although I’m ready to give in to it yet – that a daydreaming is all I am. I suppose in the grand scheme of things it’s not the worst life to live and perhaps one day I’ll write a book based on it and that’s how I’m gain my immortality.

So me and the friends went to Nando’s for dinner – yay Nando’s so exciting! – but it was a bit of an ego boost for me, because there was this table of guys that was checking me out and I’m in pretty boring cloths today, just my rock and roll top and blue jeans, nothing special. I don’t need other to validate my beauty or whatever, but I do appreciate.

After all the Chicken or beans in my case, because I wanted to know how they were going to put my beans in the burger and of course it was just like how you could expect, but I did get this cool can of iced tea – it’s a little sad how much I like the can my tea came in, but oh well. I went round to my friend place to finish off the pudding we bought yesterday and we were going to watch Big Bang Theory, but in the end we just started talking about travelling and Japanese culture and culture in general and how Western/English people are really becoming more and more egocentric and how we think children shouldn’t have so much technology all the time and all that jazz.

Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer

For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that’s not in guidebooks.
You truly have wanderlust. When you’re not traveling, you’re dreaming about where you’ll go next.
And your travels are truly legendary – they leave you with stories you’ll be telling for the rest of your life!

Quote/saying of the day: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. – Lao Tzu

In an attempt to make a note of my annoyance…

So I’ve been back for 4 days now and it feels like I never went on break, just like usual. I don’t like that I so easily step back into the rhythm of my university lifestyle, sometimes, but then I guess it’s also a good thing and all that jazz.

Not that it doesn’t stop me wishing it was summer. I was really looking forward to summer, but now I’m not so sure, my plans aren’t quite going to plan and my friends keep changing the date of when we’re meant to be going away, for one reasons or another, the most recent of which is that one of them will ‘only’ have 2 days between going away and then going away with us, honestly I don’t really see how that’s a probably. I went out boating with them, when I had been up partying the night before and had a hangover, so I think she should be able to manage, but I don’t want to be a bitch or anything by saying this. Also I’m a little annoyed, because they were super against changing the date when one of our other friends wanted to and the one that wants to change it now, was quite mean and rude to her, basically implying that she shouldn’t be allowed to come if she couldn’t do those dates and now she’s made us change the dates twice, so I’m a little pissed at her. So I’ve been ignoring them mostly, I’m also doing that because I feel like their not the friends I thought they were, for other reasons as well and it’s making me a bit sad and what not.

But I’ve been reoccupying myself with other things, such as my new eleaf or istick, whichever you want to call it, which came the other day, a little earlier than expected, but I don’t mind that, now I’ve just got to wait for my new atomizer, as I’m having to use my older ones and I don’t think they can really keep up with the power of the istick, so I’m hoping it arrives tomorrow or Friday.

I’ve also been planning or trying to plan a trip to Nando’s – because it’s in another city, there apparently isn’t one in Bournemouth – with some of my friends, we were meant to be going tomorrow, but there were some scheduling problems, so it looks like we’ll be going Friday night – fun Friday night, at Nando’s.

I’ve also been using all these things, as reasons not to finish doing my assignments during this week and I’ve got 2 test to revise for and then of course my exams that are next month – only 5 more weeks, not including this week and I’ve finish first year.

Quote/saying of the day: Selfish persons are incapable of loving others, but they are not capable of loving themselves either. – Erich Fromm

So I’ve been watching that new Marvel series DareDevil. I watched the film that came out quite a while ago and honestly I didn’t think it was any good, I mean I don’t particularly think the acting was bad or anything like that, but I just didn’t like it. But I went ahead and watched this new series. Although I did like the coffin water bed thing that DareDevil had in the film, that was interesting, in this series he just has silk sheets, kinda boring in comparison, but hey ho the bed isn’t the most important thing about this. So I’ve got to the second to last episode of the series, because I have been sort of serial watching it a little and so far I think it’s actually quite good. I mean it’s kind of refreshing that he’s not just this super amazing sort of unbeatable anti-hero in this one and he does actually get hurt – quite seriously at some points – it makes him more… human.

Now in all honestly I haven’t read the comic, although it’s on my list – one day I’ll get round to actually reading all the comic I’ve got on my list – so I can’t say if it’s true to them or not, although the bad-ass woman, Electra I think her name is, but I can’t be sure and I can’t be bother to look it up – so sorry if I got it wrong – is so far not in the series, or at least I haven’t noticed her, so I’m not sure if she’ll ever feature in this series.

Oh and I also like that we get to see where/how he gets his DareDevil costume from is interesting in this series, in the film he already had it – it might have said where/how he got it, but it’s been a while since I watched it, so I’m not sure.

What to do about this love crisis… Just jump

So I read this post today, called:

10 Reasons Why This Generation Is Losing The Ability To Be In Love

It seemed quite interesting and although quite a few of the comments at the bottom of it stated that most of the points could be seen thought out history, which I think says something about the human race and our seemingly lack of ability to really change for the better – or worse depending on your view of love. But any ways here’s the points:

1. We care more about instant gratification than we do anything else.

The most common trend amongst Generation-Yers is our need for instant gratification. We grew up and continue to thrive in a culture that allows us instant access to just about anything.

If we want food, we have it delivered with the click of a few buttons or we walk a block or two and grab dinner. If we are bored, we have endless distractions in the form of phone apps. If we need directions or a question answered, it only takes us a couple of seconds.

Such convenience is entirely a modern-day perk — previous generations never experienced anything even remotely close to it.

The problem is instant gratification is addicting and often becomes a habit, a habit that tends to seep into our love lives.

Love isn’t meant to be experienced in an instance, but in a lifetime.


2. We’ve built a culture driven by drugs and booze.

This goes hand in hand with our culture’s need for instant gratification. Drugs and booze are the most common form of self-medication.

When we feel sad or unhappy, we go out for drinks. When we’re stressed or unable to handle our lives, we may turn to more intense substances. Of course, not everyone drinks alcohol and/or does drugs, but it is a trend among our generation.

Drugs and alcohol often end up being love’s worst enemy. These substances give us the illusion of an alternate reality — a reality in which our emotions are heightened, and the love we experience becomes exponentially intense.

Unfortunately, all this does is confuse us, making us believe love is little more than the feelings we experience. Nothing could be further from the truth.


3. We sleep around — a lot.

Some less than others, but most individuals have multiple partners every year. Don’t get me wrong, I like sex just as much as the next guy, but sleeping around ends up leaving us feeling empty.

It starts out feeling exciting and gratifying, but ends up making us feel even more alone. Worse yet, it makes finding someone to love infinitely more difficult. You’re wasting your time with people who mean nothing to you and, to top it all off, you are likely to turn sex into a sport.

When that becomes the case, good luck trying to make love. Good luck enjoying sex when sex is no longer a special or unique experience, but just another trivial evening.


4. We’re becoming even more egocentric.

Every individual in the world is egocentric; we all think about our needs and ourselves first and foremost. Whether this is good or bad doesn’t really matter; the world is the way it is. It’s part of human nature.

The problem arises when our egocentricity overtakes our ability to feel empathy. As human beings, we have no choice but to live and function within society, within communities of different sizes.

Relationships are really nothing more than granular communities. When we focus on only ourselves, our needs, our wants and desires, the needs of the others in our community get overlooked. When this happens in a relationship, it all begins to fall apart.


5. We date for the sake of dating.

It’s become a sport — a favorite pastime among Millennials. We date because we believe we’re supposed to date. We’re supposed to find someone to fall in love with and spend our lives with, and we are under the impression that the best way to go about it is to date as often as possible.

This backwards logic brings about countless horrible relationships that never ought to have been in the first place. Every time you date someone who isn’t right for you, you’re giving up your chance to meet someone who is. Same goes for the rest of the world.


6. We aren’t fans of making compromises.

We like to have things our way, always. Why wouldn’t we? If we can have it our way, why would we settle for anything less?

This logic makes sense until we find ourselves in a relationship. When we’re a part of a relationship, we are only a piece of a greater whole. What we want and need is not nearly as important as what the relationship needs.

And what the relationship often needs is for you to compromise. So you’re left with a dilemma, which is fine, as long as you accept that compromises need to be made. Once we no longer accept that as a necessity, we will lose the ability to create a loving relationship.


7. We believe in fairytale endings.

What was our favorite thing to watch growing up? Most people our age will say Disney. We grew up on Disney movies and learned all about love through the stories they told — or at least I did.

The problem is such movies are incredibly inaccurate and often end up doing more harm than good. They create impossible expectations — expectations that always leave us disappointed in the end, not to mention confused.

How could you not question your love for someone when your story doesn’t line up with what you believe defines a happily ever after?


8. We’ve been fooled into believing perfection is attainable.

It’s not. Never has been, never will be, and yet, we are all looking for that perfect individual. We are all looking to become that perfect individual. Sadly, we’re all going to fail, and it’s going to suck.

No matter how unrealistic our expectations are, the disappointment we feel when they aren’t achieved is very real.

The grass always seems greener on the other side. But who the hell told you to look for greener grass?


9. We’re goal driven, but often forget to include our partners in the mix.

I love the fact that our generation is really the first generation to put the focus on the individual, allowing for personal growth and development. I’m proud our generation is the first generation that believes working for ourselves is better than working for someone else.

Having dreams and setting goals are both incredibly important; however, what’s more important is setting the right goals. We need to understand the difference between the things and individuals in our life who hold value and those that do not.

Sadly, this is an area in which our generation is greatly lacking. Most of us put off finding someone to love until after we get the rest of our life together. Not sure why no one realizes finding a partner is the most important piece of the puzzle.


10. Most of us are really bad at loving.

Love is confusing. It has layers and is mutable, changing over time and changing with each new partner we let into our lives. Love is so incredibly complex that most people simply haven’t been able to get a grasp of it.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is reason to worry. The real question is: Are we getting better or worse at loving? That’s a question I’m not able to answer, but I fear it maybe the latter.

Of course, each individual is different in his or her understanding, but most people seem to be incredibly lost. The issue is if we don’t come to understand love better — its purpose, its boundaries and its shortcomings — we will never be happy.

That’s nothing short of fact.

If you want to read more of the author’s stuff you can; Follow Paul Hudson OnTwitter And Facebook.

Alright so I kind of think the points make sense and all that, but I’m not going to go as far as to agree with the idea that these are purely related to a certain generation, perhaps some of them are more prominent in certain generation, but most of them – as many people pointed out – can been seen in older generations as well.

Although I would like to think that perhaps not our entire generation is becoming unable to truly love, because well that’s just depressing now isn’t it. Or perhaps this all shows that our definition of love is somehow wrong or disillusion?

Quotes/sayings of the day:

Falling in love is like jumping off a really tall building. Your brain tells you it is not a good idea, but your heart tells you, you can fly. – unknown

What is love? In math: an equation; in history: a war; in chemistry: a reaction; in art: a heart; in me: YOU. – unknown

When you want to be a dragon for a while…

So I decided since I want to try different things and all that jazz, that I would try out these subscription services you can get for e-juices.

I’ve seen a couple vlogers, talking about them, but they were all American, so I wasn’t too sure if there would be a good one in the UK, although according to one UK vloger ZampleBox does a very good service to the UK and for a good price, although I suppose that depends on how much you’re willing to spend and all that jazz.

So any ways, I did a little research and got my final list down to 4 difference services, then I made a lovely table, because I was feeling in that sort of mood and sometimes I actually really like making tables and graphs and stuff like that, to decide wich one of the services best suited my needs and what not, finally coming down to 2 services; ZampleBox and Vapeabox. In the end I decided to try the one off box that Vapeabox provided, since that seemed easiest and I liked the idea of going for them more, because they seem to be UK based – although the juices are mostly US ones, but the market is bigger over there, so that makes sense to me.

Any ways I ordered my box on Monday, I was a little disappointed with the lack of options on the flavour profile, it seems to lack a little compared to ZampleBox, but it was still better than some of the other sites I visited. And I got my box today. It was great, the box is really quite good looking for a start and the box that it is sent in is nice and sturdy, so I wasn’t concerned about opening it up and finding broken juice bottles or anything like that.

I couldn’t get a picture of the box, so here’s their logo thing…

They gave me a little card with some information about the service on it and a juice of the month rating picture thing on the back, which I think was a nice thing to do, because it allows other to find new juices that they might like as well and what not.

Immediately when I opened the box this sweet smell that I vaguely recognised, but couldn’t quite place wafted out of the box. So after pulling out all the shavings that were being used as padding for the box, I opened up my first little pale brown bag and found 2 liquids inside, one a brand I recognised the other not and then I opened the other little bag and found 3 liquids inside, which means that they sent me 75 ml of juice, which I think is pretty damn good and fortunately for me all the bottles had tops with pipette style drip things – I can’t remember the name for them right now, but I hope you get what I’m trying to describe here – because I won’t have been able to use the ones without that style top, some of the tops were even child proof, which I thought was a nice touch, for those vapers that have children and what not, although I may not be one of them, I still appreciate the thought. Any ways so that sweet smell is pretty damn strong now, so I decide to sniff the juice and find that it’s coming from the butterbean flavour one, which is apparently butterscotch and custard – I think – which explains how I recognised the smell. Although this one does smell the most I decide to try a fruity smelling one first and it’s delicious, this one was Bomb Squad, Atomic Breeze flavour, which according to the site, is peach and tropical fruit. Now to be honest when I was first vaping it, I was getting more tropical fruit than peach and I still do, I get a hint of peach but not much, although I’m sort of blaming that on the device I’m using at the moment, I’m thinking about getting a new one in the coming weeks, but I can’t decide whether to get a stick or a pipe, because I think that pipes look really cool and I’ve always wanted to try smoking a pipe, but have never had the chance, but I also think the stick would be easier to take out and about, also the pipes are fairly new, as far as I can gather and so are quite expense, since I want to get one that looks more pipe is and less techy. Any ways so I spent a large part of the trying out each flavour in turn and I found that although I didn’t dislike any of them, I liked the ones from Alpha Vape and Pour house – which was the strong smelling butterscotch one – the least out of all of them.

Although this experience has made me think about getting the box again, but I don’t think I’m going to sign up to any subscriptions quite yet, because the amount they send, is great but far too much for me to vape in one month, so I might just go for one off boxes all the time or try buying bottles by themselves, because I was flicking through the shop Vapeabox has and found a couple flavours I’d like to try: Buckshot -Double tap, Space Jam – Galactica, Cosmic Fog – The Shocker, Vampire Vape – Raspberry Sorbet and Tropical Island. So I might just go head and buy them, as I run low on the ones I already have and all that jazz.

The Vampire Vape bottles, don’t look as nice as the other, but I’m hoping the juice will be just a good.

So I was meant to write my report for my stats today – well that’s what I told myself yesterday – but in the end I didn’t finish it. I did start it, while the gardeners were here, although apparently they weren’t supposed to be here this week, so the father got a little annoyed when I told him, when he and the girlfriend got back, but at least the garden looks nice and all that jazz and I got part of my coursework half done, but I did check the hand in dates and I do have time, but I wanted to get some of it out of the way so I can concentrate on revising, because I have promised myself that I will work hard and revise hard for my up coming exams, whether I actually will or not, I don’t know, but I’m motivating myself, since I need to do well – not exceedingly well, but well – since I failed one of the pieces so far and I need to do well enough to pass the year without resits, because I hate resits with a passion – I’m not sure why, maybe it’s because I tend to forget most of the important stuff I learned after I’ve sat my exams and so have to relearn everything for a resits, although I did resit my English GCSE and got a whole grade higher, although that’s not really much, since I only resat it because I was a could marks off that whole grade higher and in the end that mark didn’t matter too much, so the resit was kind of a waste of time, but I got the experience of doing a resit and I never want to have to do that again.

Any ways enough about resits, I think I’ll get back to my juices, so as I said I’ve tasted all of them and my favourite out of the 5, was the one by Bomb Squad, with a runner up of a one by Lighthouse, called Alligator reef. I neglected to look up what flavour Alligator reef was, but I got something fruity from it.

So onwards and what not. So recently it came to my attention – on facebook – that there was going to be an open air cinema in Bournemouth in June, which looked really quite good, so I was considering staying for a little bit after my exams are finished and going to that with a couple of my friends, but after closer ‘inspection’ it seems the event is pretty damn popular, so I thinking I probably won’t be able to get tickets to it, but I’m going to try and if I can yay and if not then well I just come home a week earlier.

Also the father decided he wasn’t going to take the cats to his new house – I think I might have already said about this – but fortunately one of my friends boyfriends family is looking for a cat – although only one – and would like to try taking my little sweetheart – the kitten, which I don’t think is a kitten any more – and see if she gets along with there – same age as her – boy cat. I was a little nervous, because they have a male cat and she’s female and she can be a little… anti-social, but it was suggested that a 1 week trial should be done to see if they get along and if things work out, she’ll go to live with them and if not, then we’ll have to keep looking.

I would of course love to take them to university with me, but I have a strong feeling that my apartment for next year doesn’t allow pets, so I won’t be able to, since the one I’m in now doesn’t and they’re both rented my the same place, but I’ll have a look any ways.

Quote/saying of the day; Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits – unknown

I’m sorry, but you can’t tell me who I am today, perhaps tomorrow?

An introspection retold for the sake of my lack of confuse, or in other words a little piece of me. An average university student… Continue reading

Reunite to give the future thoughts

So yeah, today I went and met up with some of the girls for a late lunch and a little, but unsuccessful, shopping spree. It would seem that my taste in clothing and main stream clothing are completely different, which means high street stores don’t really have anything I like. There was some nice tops in Primark, but apart from that, there wasn’t really anything. I did buy a top, which I think I’m going to paint at some point during my holidays, but even though I didn’t manage to find anything amazing, I still had a good time.

It was nice to see my friends again and catch up a little, over Blue Lagoon – that’s a cocktail for those who don’t know – and a bagel. One of my friends also invited me to a party, although she had ulterior motives for doing so, because she wants me and this guy to ‘get together and having hundreds of babies’ and that’s a direct quote. But I’m not sure if I’m going to go. Sure I like parties and I will actually know some of the people there this time, but I’ll just see how I feel closer to the time I suppose.

I’ve got this weekend to look forward to, as we’re heading down to the cousins for Easter. I’m not too sure how they celebrate, because I know some people go the whole shebang. Although my family has only really started celebrating the holiday again recently. But I suppose I’ll find out this weekend.

Quote/saying of the day: Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. – Helen Keller