Label me whatever, brand me forever

I am broken, but not gone.
So I wish for nothing more, than … Continue reading

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I’m cold in here…

Just another day in the life of the average university student… who’s searching for someone like her… Continue reading

When I fall, don’t try to catch me…

Just another day in the life of the average university student, who’s stepping into the murky waters… Continue reading

The suns out and I’m out…

So it’s the beginning of my summer break and I feel like all my motivation to do anything really, is gone. Before I came home, I had a sort of plan for this summer, but I haven’t started doing anything – really – that I had planned.

When all you can think about is just running away from everything…

I did buy my brother’s birthday present and the stuff for my ritual. I also had a small get together last Sunday, with some of my friends, it was sort of an impromptu thing, since we’ve been trying to get together for weeks, but everyone was busy with work and revision and exams. So when on Sunday morning one of my friends said she had messed up her work schedule, so we decided it was a good idea to just meet up that evening and do some planning for Cornwall and day trip over the summer, but unfortunately we just ended up getting drunk and chatting about tit and tat, even though we did try doing some planning and then again in the morning. But it was really nice seeing them all again and all that jazz.

I also get my first vibrator this week, so that was… fun. I posted this whisper – for those of you that don’t know what whisper is, it’s an app – about it and I got 29 messages within the first minute of posting it, most of them were dirty in one way or another and then there was one that wanted to know about my buying experience, because their ‘friend’ wanted to get one.

So my buying experience, was alright a guess, I got one from Durex, because I more or less trust that company, since I didn’t want to get a crappy one, although it did set me back a pretty penny, but I think it more or less worth it. But there is so much out there, I didn’t know what to get, so I just got a simple basic one, since it’s my first one and all that jazz.

Since I bought all the supplies for my ritual on Sunday – even with the whole no banking thing, I’ve been hurt by that damn rule before – stuff has been arriving all week and one of the crystals I got came with a little booklet thing, about how to cleanse and energise and encode – I think they used a different word perhaps program – the crystal, so since I thought it would be a good idea to do all my crystals together and since one of them can’t be put in water or salt, I decided that I would use the herb method to remove negative energy, so I’ve buried 2 of my stones in sage and I’ll add the rest when they come. I don’t think I’m going to program them really, since I’m not sure right now what I want to… put into them, since I’m using them as representatives and what not.

I still haven’t found a job, but I applied to this site to be a website tester, well I applied to 2, but I can’t get one of them to work, because of a problem with my Java, so I’m going to ask the father about it, when he comes down at the weekend, to see if that can be fixed, but I applied to the other site so hopefully that will all go through fine, because they pay quite well apparently, and it looks like I’m not going to be able to get a ‘proper’ job this summer, so I’ve got some free time on my hands, apart from the ritual and the new exercise plan I’m trying to get into, because I want to get toned this summer and I’ve got 2 months – Including this one – to do it, because I’m going to Cornwall with the girls in 2 months, so I’m trying to get toned by then, I don’t think 2 months is an impossible goal, since I don’t have much else to do, apart from try and make a little money, oh and of course looking after the house, since the father is still trying to sell it, so there is going to be people round. I did want to do a whole bunch of things this summer, but the desire to save and lack of planning, leads to not much planned to do. Hopefully we’ll work that out, since we did stuff last summer and that was fun, although most of my friend have work planned – lucky ducks – although I’m not giving up on the work just yet, I’ve applied to a bunch more and hopefully will find something, since the perfect for me dog walking job went in a snap, just shows you should apply right away. But yeah I’m still looking, there’s just not really anything for someone like me.

My friend did say she would have a look to see if the place where she works will take me, but I’m not super hopeful, plus I don’t think I will be that good there or really like it, but if I can I will.

Quote/saying of the day: I always wonder why bird stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question. – Harun Yahya

I’m also planning on doing some writing this summer, since I’ve only written one thing – Angels for flesh – in a long time, maybe even a year now. I’m also hoping to enter some writing competitions.

If you believe it, believe it…

So after spending last night, wanting to bang my head against the wall, because of my mentally straining creativity essay – you’d think an essay about creativity might be… oh I don’t know creative in some way or at least mildly interesting, well you’d be wrong – I spent the majority of today finishing that off and also shopping, or rather window shopping through my computer, since I wasn’t intending on buying anything today, I was just getting stuff set up for when I do want to go ahead and buy.

I’m not too sure if I’ve said anything about this – but I’m guessing I have. I’ve decided to try my hand at magic and I’m not talking rabbit out a hat sort of magic here, I’m talking circle magic. One of the series I’ve been reading has circle magic as a major factor in the story and I’ve always had an interest in that sort of thing, so I decided that this summer I’m going to try casting my own circle. Since I’m not ready to declare myself a Wiccan or anything, I’m sort of making it up as I go along and not sticking to an ‘traditional’ method, or maybe a better way of saying that is, I’m not just sticking to one method or idea. I’m hoping that doesn’t mean something terrible will happen, because I do have a health respect for the forces of nature and magic, since I do believe in magic, although maybe not the kind other people believe in or maybe they do and I don’t know about it.

But any ways I’ve been shopping for the things I’ll need to cast my circle and what not, since I wanted to get a stone or crystal to represent all 5 elements: Water, Air, Fire Earth and Akasha – or as it maybe more commonly known spirit. In the end I decided on Lapis Lazuli – for water. Citrine – for air. Sun stone – for fire, I know that one seems a little on the nose, but I think the stone looks right somehow. Malachite – for earth. And Amethyst – for Akasha/spirit. I also wanted to find some nice candles, because I wanted to get some tall ones, not tea lights or anything like that, in the end I did find one for each element, although I’m still not so sure about the blue one. I don’t know whether to go dark or light blue, I chose one that was midnight blue, or at least that’s what the description says, but the picture makes it look quite a lot more on the side of sky blue, although that might just be the picture, I suppose I’ll see when it arrives. I also looked for a cup, but unfortunately I couldn’t find out I liked, that didn’t have specific marking on it, like the star or symbols like that and I want one without anything like that, so I’m thinking I might just use a wine glass or something like that. Although I did find this really lovely incense burner, but I couldn’t find any candle holders, because I want to cast outside, I thought candle holders would be a good idea, since I won’t have anyone other than me there, but we do have some at home, so I might be able to find some there. And I did manage to find all the herbs and what not that I wanted, which is great, I thought some of them would be really hard to find, but they were quite readily available – I also decided to start wearing nail polish in the 5 element colours, not tradition or anything, but I need to get a yellow and then I can start doing it.

So yeah. I had a once again somewhat dull – and brain numbing – day, but a productive one as well. I thinking productive is the watch word for the next 2 weeks, when my exams will be over – yay, I can’t wait – and I’ll be off home for the summer. Some of the people living around me have already left – and I thought I was leaving early, they’re leaving super early. I know that at least one of my house mates will be here after I have gone, because she’s going to the University’s summer ball, which apparently is more along the lines of a fun fair, than a ball. I was thinking about leaving them a note to let them all know I’m gone, since one of my house mates has been staying with his girlfriend a lot, so he might not be around when I leave, also with the whole cleaning the house thing, I don’t want them to think I’m not doing my share. I think I’m going to take the bins out and maybe wipe down the surfaces before I go, I know it’s not much, but at least I’m trying to do something, although thinking about it they’ll probably get dirty again after I’m gone, so it might not be worth it – I’ll see when the day comes around.

Quote/saying of the day: The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. – J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan