If I headed for the hills would you come with me?

So I’ve sort of worked it out with my friends, honestly it wasn’t that hard, because they’re modern people and can put stuff aside and move on, which I’m not sure if is a good or bad thing in the long run, but I suppose right now that doesn’t matter too much.

My new atomizer arrived today, so I’ve been vaping on that all day and I have to say that it is amazing compared to my old ones, you can really taste the e-juice, plus with the istick the old atomisers had a habit of spitting hot juice at me and breaking quickly, so I’m really glade it arrived today, because my throat can’t take any more boiling liquid being splashed on it. I know why don’t I just stop for a while? Well I’m not too sure, I suppose I’m a little hooked or something – and I’m not even vaping the stuff with nicotine.

I’ve been looking into festivals to go to over the summer, since I think my dreams of going abroad with my friends are dashed, not that I’m going to stop trying and what not, but I’m looking for fun things to do, just in case that doesn’t work out, plus it seems that everyone is making summer plans, bar me, so I want to do something. I am not just going to lazy around all summer, I’ve got about 4 months off, because of freshers and my exams finishing so early and what not, so I’m going to try and make the most of it, even if that means I can’t do it with my friends like I would have liked.

Sure I’m far to scared to go travelling abroad by myself, mainly because I’m not the luckiest person or the most cautious person in the world, which when you add being in the country where you don’t know the language or anyone or anything, can be dangerous combination and I’m quite a shy and timid person in strange, wonderful and new places, so I might not have as good a time, plus it could be really lonely and how wants to feel lonely?

And then there’s travelling alone as a woman – I know that’s sort of sexist or whatever – but I feel like in some places it’s not the best idea.

But I have to believe in my… faith I guess you would call it, why not faith in the universe. It’s this idea or theory or idea based on a religious idea/ideal, that if you want something bad enough the whole universe conspires to help make it happen, that’s not to say that you don’t have to try and universe does not do things for you, it just helps. Because in my own potentially twisted way I do believe in destiny and although I may never be prime minister or leader of the free world or whatever, I hope I’m going to live forever. I know wishful, slightly delusional thinking, but hey ho I’m slightly delusional and I like to daydream, well I’ve know that about myself for a long time and there is the possibility – although I’m ready to give in to it yet – that a daydreaming is all I am. I suppose in the grand scheme of things it’s not the worst life to live and perhaps one day I’ll write a book based on it and that’s how I’m gain my immortality.

So me and the friends went to Nando’s for dinner – yay Nando’s so exciting! – but it was a bit of an ego boost for me, because there was this table of guys that was checking me out and I’m in pretty boring cloths today, just my rock and roll top and blue jeans, nothing special. I don’t need other to validate my beauty or whatever, but I do appreciate.

After all the Chicken or beans in my case, because I wanted to know how they were going to put my beans in the burger and of course it was just like how you could expect, but I did get this cool can of iced tea – it’s a little sad how much I like the can my tea came in, but oh well. I went round to my friend place to finish off the pudding we bought yesterday and we were going to watch Big Bang Theory, but in the end we just started talking about travelling and Japanese culture and culture in general and how Western/English people are really becoming more and more egocentric and how we think children shouldn’t have so much technology all the time and all that jazz.

Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer

For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that’s not in guidebooks.
You truly have wanderlust. When you’re not traveling, you’re dreaming about where you’ll go next.
And your travels are truly legendary – they leave you with stories you’ll be telling for the rest of your life!

Quote/saying of the day: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. – Lao Tzu
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Post me my lucky co-operation style…

So sometimes I think I’m too ambitious and then other times I feel like I don’t have enough ambition. But then maybe I’m just too ambitious in certain aspects of my life and not enough in others. Although it would be nice to sit somewhere in the middle, since that’s where I like to take up residence.

So my master plan is coming along smoothly so far, but I see some bumps in the road ahead, such as lack of co-operation from my friends, because I’m keeping them in the dark and all that jazz. Also lack of finances, but I’m sort of leaving that up to the universe and if it does actually work the way I’m very much hoping it tends to work, then that should be just dandy.

Speaking of finances, I’ve entered into the postcode lottery, mainly because I don’t have to pay for it and I’m probably the only person around here – with my postcode – that has entered, I need as much money as I can get at the moment. Although being the only person with my postcode on there is apparently not that big of an advantage, actually it’s a disadvantage, because my postcode is less likely to be draw, although it does mean if is draw, I get all the money and don’t have to split it. I did think about talking some of neighbouring friends into doing it as well, however I really need and money and am willing to take the chance, plus I’ve got postcodes entered, because I’ve used both my university postcode and my home postcode, although I don’t know how the prize giving works, so if my home one did somehow win the money might be sent there, which could be a problem, since the father would see it and probably give me an ear full about ‘these sorts of sites’ being bad and what not.

He used to play the lottery every week, but I suppose somewhere down the road he gave up and now he only plays it now and then, like at Christmas or if there’s a super big jackpot, times like that.

I won’t say I’m the most unlucky person out there or the most lucky, I think I’m about average-ish, maybe a little below.

So I’ve got an in-class test tomorrow, which I haven’t revised for – oops! But it’s not until the afternoon, so I can get up then I can revise in the morning and what not. Although if this weekend has been any indication, I’m might not even make it to the test, because I’ll still be fast asleep. I’m going to try and go to bed early today – at least earlier than 5 am, which is when I’ve been going to be recently.

On another note; There are so many places I want to visit now, I’ve no idea how I’m going to be able to see them all before I die or get so old that I can’t move anyone or am blind, because I image that I’m going to be one of those old people that getting some sort of horrible disease and is basically bed ridden and not one of those old people that can actually still do things, unlike what most people think old people can and can’t do. But let’s not get into that. I’ve been trying to squeeze as many places as possible into 25 days, while still allowing for enjoyment of the place, so no less than 3 days in each places, including travel days – at the moment – but that doesn’t really mean many places and there are some places that I would like to spend more time in and what not. You know really get to soak them up and all that jazz, not just a whistle stop tour of the vicinity.

I’ve wanted to go to Venice for a while now, but I’m leaving that one of the back burning, because I think it would be nice to go with just one or two people or perhaps just by myself, not with a bunch of friends.

Quotes/sayings of the day:

Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure. – J.K. Rowling

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. – G.K. Chesterton

Faith or love, with fight or flight

So it seems my year or so of peace, was only going to last that long. It’s a pity because I thought that I could do this and overcome the ‘demons’ of my past. Normal was beginning to feel like an actual thing for me, I mean I was quite ordinary in the sense that I would have liked to have been, but I thought I was getting there, how stupid and delusional that idea seems now. If I was religious I would probably be saying that this is my punishment or something – I mean I was a certain type of religious – but I’m not. To be honest a lot of the religious people I meet scare me, but I’m also fascinated by them. Putting so much faith in the idea of one thing, one high power, which they would do anything for. That’s also the thing that fascinates me about love, but then maybe faith in God and love for another person – or persons – aren’t all that different and maybe that’s just another one of my problems.

Oh dam I’m just whining again, I tend to end up doing that a lot, all bark no bite. But then if you pushed me into a corner, I’d bite your throat out if I thought that was the way out. If it’s me or someone else, I think I’d probably most of the time choose me, although I suppose it might change depending on the person, but it’s just biology. Like the other day my friend wanted to find out if people were fight or flight as their ‘natural setting when scared’ she was went around scaring people in one way or another and it seems I’m fight, I almost punched her in the face.

So today was a wet the cold summers day, because yes it’s meant to be summer now, but someone forgot to tell the weather, because it’s still acting like it’s the beginning of spring. It’ll be Easter soon and I can’t wait, because with Easter comes a holiday and with a holiday comes time away from… everything that I don’t want to be around. Although I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to eat Easter eggs, because of my diet and to be honest that sort of the only part of Easter that my family has done in years, but when I was younger we used to celebrate a bit more, and the Grandmother sometimes came over, with the religious side of it, which is one of the reasons why I know that Christ wasn’t born on Christmas day, but let’s not get into that. But then I might just break my diet and gorge on chocolate then go into a sort of dark spiral and stop eating properly for a while, then take the diet back up again, but hey-ho the world has wicked things in it.

So… I went to see that new Noah film over the weekend, which is probably what got me thinking about religion and all that. I was surprised it was a 12A, because there was quite a bit of violence/gore in it. Such as the bit where the men are ripping animals apart and the bit where the girls gets trampled to death and so on and so forth. And I also think it was exactly super accurate, but hey-ho artistic license and all that jazz. It’s not like they said it was going to be the actually bible story, but film based on the story I suppose. Although it did raise a couple of questions about incest, which I would one day like to ask a Christian about, as I’m sure there’s an answer, I just didn’t see it or something like that. Such as the whole Adam and Eve only have 3 sons. I never really thought about it before, but where did all the other people come from? Did God make more people or the 3 sons wives or something? I feel like I’m missing parts of the story. And then there were the fallen angels – I think I should have started this bit with a SPOILER ALERT, but never mind – I always thought they weren’t in the Noah story or the bible well this part. I was under the impression that the fallen were an adaptation or something like that – I feel like that’s not the right word, but I can’t think of anything better, and I trying to be an author, maybe you can understand why I have yet to succeed. But it did have my favourite bit in it. The bit at the end of the story… God’s promise – at least from what I can remember that’s what it is, but maybe I’m wrong and if so sorry about that.

But just so you know exactly what film I’m talking about here’s a trailer:

Quote/saying of the day: Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. ― C.S. Lewis