To be completely untethered…

Just another day in the life of the average University student, who’s thinking about leaving the country in the future… Continue reading


I can skip the que, because that’s what you taught me to do

You can hate me for who I am, For all I am is human, And all that human even was, Is death personified in the land of Oz. So I’ve been away, staying with friends again. A different one this … Continue reading

High Functioning..? Sounds good on paper

Just another weekend in the life of the average University student, who’s painting the house blue..? Continue reading

Wishing for lumpy pockets to pave the desire…

So recently all I can think about it travelling. Although you could say that recently is only the last few days or the last few years or all my life.

I do tend to blame my love for new places and my dislike for staying in the same place for too long a period of time on my parents, due to them moving me all over the country as a child and of course we had quite a few wonderful – and not all fully remembered – family holidays. I’m not really complaining though, but as I stated in my last post I’m not one to travel alone, maybe that’s because I never really have. Sure I’ve travelled from here to home and trips like that, but nothing really ‘bigger’ than that and I would like to, although I’d prefer not to have to do it alone.

I want to go to New Orleans the summer after next, mainly because then I’ll be able to drink and what not, but I’m also hoping that by then American airport security will have died down a little. American Airport security is one of the many reasons I’ve never been to American, unless you think that the Caribbean is part of it – which one of friends does.

I’ve spent the last couple hours trying to work out how much it will cost to go to Japan with my friends next summer, as one of them invited me to come with him and some other people. Although he estimated the trip to cost around £4000, but all the calculations come up with it only costing around £2000, so I’m not sure where he got the extra £200 from, or I’m remembering what he said wrong, because that’s a pretty damn big difference. Although maybe it’s the time of year that you go that changes the price, but I didn’t think it would change that much. So right now I’m sort of thinking about starting to properly save my money for that, but then again my friends have been talking about going to Italy next summer, which I would also really like to do – oh the dilemma – maybe I can earn the money to do both. I’m going to have to diffidently get a job for next semester. Which is another thing I’m going to research and try and find out that I can do, pays alright and can perhaps be related to what I may want to do in the future, because at the moment I’m not really sure what I want to do with my life, which just makes the idea of leaving university even more daunting.

Ah it’s times like these that I wish I was a millionaire and I think about playing the lottery more often, in the hopes of becoming one. I’m still playing the postcode lottery, but it’s extremely slim chance that I will ever win that one, because not many people around me play it and although the pot is up to £100 a day, winning that couldn’t really pay for a trip, although it wouldn’t hurt.

Ah I shouldn’t complain about money problems when I don’t even have a job, as my brother keeps reminding me, whenever I say anything to him. I just don’t think I’ll be very good at anything really. Maybe a supermarket, stocking shelves and stuff like that, I think I wouldn’t do too well on the till, at least not at first – for the first few months.

Quote/saying of the day: We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfilment. – Hilaire Belloc

The next chapter… begins tomorrow

So I’m off to university tomorrow, although I don’t quite feel like I am. Now and then I get these bursts of anxiousness or excitement due to the change, but other than that today, has just been a day of making sure everything is ready to go and I still don’t feel like it is.

Maybe it’s because my room only looks slightly more bare than normal or something, when I feel like it should be stripped bare and only have the furniture and my bedding in it, so that I can sleep tonight. But to be honest I just looks a little less lived in, that’s all. I suppose I’m leaving quite a bit behind, as I don’t really need it in uni and I don’t want to take too much and clutter up my new room, although I feel like I’m taking a lot, but when again most of it is kitchen stuff and clothing and a girl needs her clothes.

I’ve still got tomorrow morning to sort the last few things out, such as my cd player and lamp and such things like that and then of course the toiletries that I will be using tomorrow morning will need to be packed up, but I’ve got a little wash bag ready for that and I’ve sorted out the clothes I’m wearing down there, something casual and comfortable, as I’ll be spending over 3 hours in the car and then just moving in for the rest of the day and meeting my house mates, so I think comfort is key.

I’ve also been chatting with my buddy and we’re getting along well, which is a relief, as now at least I’ll know one other person in my class when I get there and we seem to have quite a bit in common, so we’re on the same page and all that jazz. We’re sorting to meet up before our first session and find our way there together, which’ll be nice, because that way I won’t be lost and alone, I’ll be lost and with someone else, but I seems we’re both not that great at getting places without getting lost at least once or twice.

I also made the decision to get snapchat, to try and stay in touch with my friends a little more. Although I’ll probably be snap chatting them my new place the most in the coming week or so. But since my phone doesn’t have a front camera, I won’t be snap chatting selfies very often, because I haven’t perfecting taking my own photo like that and I’m not really into the whole taking a picture of your reflection, where you can see the camera and all that jazz, because most of the time it doesn’t look all that good. Speaking of reflections I’ve decided to take my full – well basically full – length mirror with me, but now I’m just hoping that there will be a place I can put it, but I’m thinking that the other girl living with me, might appreciate it a little as well, if we become friends, which I hope we do, since we’ll be living together for the next year – well maybe a little less than that, but the next academic year. I’m also a little apprehensive about who the last person I’m going to be living with is, because I know who two of them are, but I can’t see the last one, so I’m sort of hoping they’re a girl, even though that will mean that it’ll be three girls living with one guy, but I think I’ll be less tempted to drunkenly make out with them or worse if they’re a girl – I think. Plus I think it’ll be fun doing the girly stuff I don’t really do and all that jazz, but I don’t mind them being a guy either, I just think if I had a choice in the matter I would choose girl, at least I think I would, but I suppose I’ll find out tomorrow, as I’m hoping that my house mates will be there or at least one of them will be there, by the time I arrive, because I don’t think I want to be the first one to arrive, although I don’t even know if we’ll all the arriving on the same day or not, but I think it would make sense if we did.

I suppose all will be revealed tomorrow. And I can’t have a bad an arrival as one of friends did. She got food poisoning and throw up in front of all her flatmates, basically as soon as she arrived, but other than that and having to miss out on some partying, because she had to stay in bed, it sounds like she’s having a hell of a time and fortunately her flatmates seem nice enough and didn’t guide her on that one event. So I hope my house mates are nice like that, although I don’t plan on throwing up in front of them, but with the amount of drinking that people do in freshers week who knows what might happen, but I’m going to try and not spend too much money, I’ve worked how much I’ve got for each week and I’ve got a little in my account, as I won’t be getting my loan until Monday, so I have to survive the weekend with only the money in my account right now, which isn’t anything really, so I’m hoping the drinks aren’t too expensive and I’m taking some alcohol down with me, which might make me a little more popular with my house mates or earn me a reputation as a bit of alcoholic. But either way I can sort of use it as an ice breaker, but I’m going to force myself to hang out in the shared areas, although maybe not the bathroom, the kitchen and living room seem like a better option here.

Quote/saying of the day:Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. – Marilyn Monroe

Jumping up and down in the hopes the fat will fall out…

So I’ve dyed my hair and although it’s not as vibrant as I would have liked, it’s still good. Although I wasn’t completely expecting it to be that vibrant on my dark and over already dyed hair. I only did the end blue, which although is blue, has a green tinge to it as well and also looks a black flecked blue in low light, but I sort of like that about it, in a way. Makes it more unique or something like that.

So any ways me and a couple of friends were looking into going away this summer, unfortunately it looks like we won’t be going abroad, because they can’t afford it, which is quite saddening. I suggested going camping, which would probably be cheaper, but then there’s a problem with the cars and all that jazz, since we can use my fathers car in the UK, but not outside of the UK. So it looks like camping in the UK, probably Cornwall, like we did last years, which was fun and it’s meant to be great weather this summer, which I am looking forward to. Yay for the sunshine. And even if we do end up camping in the UK, I’m still heading off to Jamaica this year, to go see the family and enjoy and delights of that wonderful country. Plus I might book a couple days by the beach, because the family lives in-land, so we would have to drive quite a way to the beach and they just might make me go to church, which isn’t to bad because it’s Jamaican church, which it a lot better and more fun that English church – I’m talking about Christianity here BTW.

So I’m still on my diet, although I don’t think I’m losing any weight, but I think I have lost some fat. As I’ve added exercise to my daily routine, I think that I might be building muscle and – fingers crossed – losing fat, so I’m not losing any weight, but I am thinning or less fat. Which I’m happy about, since I don’t really want to lose weight I just want to lose fat, and since muscle weighs more than fat, I won’t mind if my weight went up for that reason. Although this could just be wishful thinking on my part and the diet could not be working for me, since it doesn’t restrict how much you eat, just what you eat, which is one of the nice things about it.

Quote/saying of the day: If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies. ~Elmer Rice

Let’s talk about my newly reformed desire to self mutilate…

Right so… I seem to be starting a lot of paragraphs with so. But any ways. I’ve been thinking about getting my ears pierced, I mean the upper part of my ear, which I did learn the name of and then properly forgot. I’m already had my lobes done, but ear piercing is quite expensive to save on money, I’ve been looking into doing it myself. Now I’m not super keen on the needle and ice method, so I was looking into getting my own gun, but then that seems a ikle bit dangerous – espically in my hands – but then I found this plastic things, that seem to be a good idea for me.

So that’s what it looks like. You just squeeze your ear between the two parts and there you go pierced. The only think is, I was looking at earring for piercing in that area of the ear and I noticed that they looked bigger that standard earrings. Now I’m not sure if that is just because of the computer screen or the photo or what not, but there is always the possibility that they are and don’t want to pierce it with this tiny hole, then have to push a huge earring through it later, so I’m going to buy each and compare and if it is bigger, then I will have to work something out, like piercing my ear, then taking the piercing out and putting the bigger one in, but I don’t want to do that in case of infection and I imagine it will hurt, as it will probably be fiddly trying to get the second earring in, but hey ho and all that jazz.

Yes so now I’ve gone and got myself a pair of hoop earrings, some ear care after care solution and a cute blue one time use ear piercing gun, with which I am going to pierce my ears this weekend or at least the end of this week, because that’s when they arrive, Wednesday or Thursday.

So I was thinking – there goes the so again – about taking some pictures of my hair and popping them into this post, but then it got to well now and I just can’t be bothered, since I’m really tired from the day, as we did Easter today instead of tomorrow and I’m not feeling well, but I still pushed myself to do my usual exercise routine, which was a mistake, but we live and learn and all that jazz. So I’ll take some pictures tomorrow and post them some time this weekend or maybe the beginning of next, when I have the time and can be bothered and remember to basically. Because I might be going out Tuesday-Wednesday and I’m diffidently going out Monday night, so I don’t know when I’ll have the time and all that jazz, but I’ll find some.

Oh and also I’ve decided what I want to get as a tattoo. I’ve been thinking about this for about the past 7 to 8 years and now I think I know what I want. I wanted to make sure that I would like it for as long as I live and not just get something on the spur of the moment and now I’ve made a decision. I always thought people that got tattoos on the spur of the moment were a little silly. I mean it’s all cool and everything to get a tattoo of your favourite bands logo, but what about if in maybe 20 years you realise that actually that band sucks, because you ever just a silly youngest with no sense of music, sure there are going to be some people that have great music sense, even when they’re young and will still love the same bands when they’re old and grey, but that’s not everyone now is it. I want my tat to mean something more and I’m not doing it because I think it’s cool or anything like that, I’m doing it because I think it’s… beautiful and dedicated and I’m real interesting in the tradition of tattoos, although that’s another thing really. Maybe those weren’t the right words, but they were what I came up with, then trying to describe the feelings I have for tats. So any ways I’ve decided to get Latin writing and a butterfly, since butterflies have been a fascination of mine since I was old enough to understand what a butterfly was and also I fit in with the writing and meaning behind the writing as well. Normally I would put what I wanted, but I’m tired and don’t want to have to go into explaining it, so I’m not going to.

Pokes and needles

So it was to the hospital today. Oh the wonders of the hospital. Sick people, and people who cough at you. Charts and measurements and those oh so lovely awkward questions about bowel movement and don’t forget being asked to pee in the smallest containers possible – it’s alright for you buys, but can’t they make a more female friendly one or something?

But right now I’m trying to type this out with just my right hand – although I’m right handed so it’s ok. You see it seems that my veils are something of a hard thing to find. So every time I get my blood taken, it take them at least 2 tries to actually get any blood out, as they can’t find the veil and are just sticking it into my skin, today it took 2 needles and it still hurting now 3 hours later!

I also had to poked, until I started to feel sick and then go have a scan of my lungs. I mean that’s the only bit of going to the hospital today that was remotely alright, although wearing nothing but a hospital gown can be chilling… But I’ve made it through the whole thing and now I just have wait 10 days to find out the results, which I’m kind of hoping something is positive, something easily treatable, so I can just get this over the dealt with. Because I don’t really want to have to go back, I don’t really like hospitals and as nice as this one was, I’m still not lining up to return.