So it’s time of year were a whole bunch of people my age begin to get well… rather stressed and I’m not one for the stressing out, although I still do it from time to time. But this time around I’m in the same boat as everyone else – I miss my old boat, with it laid back vibe and sunshine all day long. Frantically squeezing information into my head in the hopes that I will somehow he about to fool this random stranger, that I hope I will never have to meet, that I know what I’m talking about and aren’t just re-writing the text books and hand outs given to me. People keep telling me it’s got to be more original, but honestly what do they expect from us, we’re given a years worth of information and expected to write however many essays in an hour or so, that are original, thought provoking and understandable. Sure for those lucky enough to have a memory, that doesn’t remind them of a sieve and can actually remember all that shit that we are meant to know, then it’s all good, but for the rest of us, we’re just hoping that the stuff we know comes up and if it doesn’t then we’re probably going to spend half of that hour staring at that lines answer booklet, wishing that it would all be over and we can just relax, until the next stressful event arrives, results day!
So I was meant to be going away and day after the results day, but now due to my certainty that I’m going to fail everything, I’ve had to push that back a couple days. Oh the wonders of the world. Maybe I’ll just quit all this get a crappy job and a tiny shack of a place and spend the next 10 to 2o years of my life – if I live that long – writing about people I wish I could be.
Alright so I’m obviously not in the best of moods today and if you felt like all you wanted to do was run away or start bashing your head against the wall, then you wouldn’t be either. But at least this whole thing has helped me get into a rhythm with my day, as rhythm that is going to be broken up tomorrow, when my father and his girlfriend descend on me, with their super annoying and completely unhelpful supposed-to-be sage words of wisdom. People telling me to do things makes me want to do them less, especially if I don’t really want to do them in the first place, plus when my father is around I feeling completely helpless and irritated and he acts like everything I do is wrong, just because I like to dance to be beat of my own drum and not his, it’s not like a expect him to dance to the beat of mine or anything. I keep thinking maybe there’s a way I can stop them coming, without seeming rude, but I just can’t think of anything, probably because of mind is saturated with Psychology and now I’ve got to somehow stuff some English terminology into that brain of mine. I just hate the educational system and not because I’m not good at it, it’s just messed up. I’ve known what I want to do with my life since I was 6 years old, but I have to go through 16 years of education, before I can even get close to doing it. Shouldn’t there be a different way for people how know, for certain what they want to do with their lives. I get some people just don’t know, but if you’re like me and you do, then shouldn’t there be some way of skipping the middle bit, which you relearn later any ways and just going to the end 6 years, because for me those are the years that are going to make me the person I want to be, yet right now that could be stopped completely, because I don’t give a dam about one of the subjects I’m doing, since I’m never going to use any of the information I learn now again.
Well that’s the end of that rant. Ah… I feel a little better now.