My feet are soaked… why shouldn’t the rest of me be?

Just anothing day in the life of the average university studnet, laughing in the rain… Continue reading

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But why a spoon? Because it will hurt more…

Just another day in the life of the avaerage university student, who’s just that stupid… Continue reading

I’ll set sail without you, but I don’t want to…

Just another day in the life of the average university student, with some wanderlust… Continue reading

I’m young so I can be wild, what’s your excuse?

So recently I got this app on my phone called whisper, it’s this thing where you post messages with picture backgrounds and the whole thing is anonymous, which if you’ve read some of my previous posts, you would know is something I like.

So any ways, I’ve been posting a couple things, secrets and questions and base thoughts and all that jazz. The app has this private message things, so you can message the person who posted a whisper and chat with them, the private message part does have a couple small bugs in it though, which is annoying. But any ways so my first post, I think I got like 10 replies in about 5 minuets or something ridiculous like that.

But Saturday night I was feeling a little down and out of it, as at least two of my house mates, had gone out, one to his sisters wedding for the weekend and the other just out with friends, I would have gone outside and looked who was out there, but they all sounded drunk and I wasn’t so I didn’t want to really hang out with them sober, so I whispered something about being alone and not wanting to be and this guy private messaged me. We got to talking and he invited me over to his place, at first I was really unsure as to whether or not I would go, but he seemed really nice and he wasn’t being all sleazy like most the guys I’ve so far chatted to on whisper and he was talking about how we could just be friends if I wanted to and just hang out, so he drove over and picked me up. Now at the time there were some people outside, I’m not sure who it was because I didn’t bother looking, as to the fact I kind of didn’t want to know, but I know it was a girl and a guy at least, as I could hear them talking from my room.

I’m sort of hoping that it wasn’t the guy that I kind of like and all that jazz. As I’m not too sure what they thought was going on.

Any ways, so we chatted for a bit and then headed back to his place, as it looked a little weird just sitting in the car and all that jazz. He lived right by the beach so you could see it from his window, although by the time we got to his place, it was around 2:30, so I couldn’t see anything, especially as I wasn’t wearing my glasses. So he made me a drink, rum and coke – me favourite at the moment, after from Garden of Eden, because that was delicious – and we sat on the sofa and chatted for a little while, before he asked me about whether or not I minded him smoking and I was kind surprised, but we had a nice little smoke together, before he asked the ‘big question’ about whether or not I found him attractive, at this point I had to make a snap decision and that lead to use making out on his sofa, which wasn’t super comfortable, it was this sort of green fake leather sofa. So we moved to the bedroom and …

It was fun and after he was really nice and all complimenting me and all that jazz, so that nice and then we just lay and chatted for a little while, before heading back into the other room for another drinks and a smoke, which sort of went to my head a little, as I could feel it going a bit… fuzzy and light with the cigarette, which was nice, so we chatted for a bit more, before he went to find out the time. Only to inform me it was 5 am, bed time or something like that, at least we went back to the bed.

So I had a couple more firsts that night/morning and only got about 2 hours sleep, before he woke me up for a good morning greeting woody style. But hey it was fun and the same with the first.

So after that I did sleep for an hour or to, until he got up and then I just couldn’t seem to go back to sleep, so I just sprawled out in his bed and lay here for an hour or something, listening to him go about his morning, until I couldn’t take it any more and got up. He gave me a lift back and said he’d like to see me again. And in the end I sent him my number later that day and he’s sent me a couple messages today, so at least he’s not one of those guys that feels he has to wait a certain amount of time before texting the girl, because I do have a time limit and then I just ignore them, unless I really like them that is.

I’m not too sure if anyone saw me doing the walk of shame or not that morning, since it wasn’t that early, so people could have been up and all that jazz. I don’t even know if my house mates knew I was gone, because she hasn’t said anything and the one downstairs doesn’t talk to me, so yeah he hasn’t said anything either, but she could just be respecting my privacy and all that jazz, which is nice of her.

So Sunday day was truly a day of rest, as I didn’t want to do anything all day, as I was achy, tired and ill, as I have somehow got fresher’s flu, even though I was trying to be careful and everything, but I suppose I probably got it from someone in my lectures, since there was always people coughing in that, disturbing everyone and now that’s me.

Although I got this free Menthol e-liquid, with the ones I ordered the other day and apparently Menthol is good for colds, although I’m not sure how true that is, but I don’t think it will hurt really. Although I may have given it to Mr G, but I did say I had fresher flu, before he came to pick me up, so he was duly warned, when we started that adventure.

Although he was telling me about the university, back when he went to it and I found it surprisingly interesting to see how it had changed.

So moving on I was so tired when I got up this morning, although I did go to bed at 10 last night, but I couldn’t sleep because my skin was reminiscing about the mornings activities. So I woke up still aching in a freezing room, as I had accidentally left my window open all night and it was poring it down outside and all I thought was ‘I really don’t want to get up right now’ but I had a 9 o’clock lecture, so I managed to drag myself out of bed at 7:15 and put on a whole bunch of layers and a coat, which I don’t really like very much, but I don’t have anything else really, because I still haven’t got my hoody back yet – I shouldn’t have given it to her in the first place and I keep meaning to send her a message or something, but by the time I get around to it, it’s late at night and I think that would be a little weird, so I keep waiting until the next day – it’s a bit of a circle – and since I don’t know where she lives I can’t go over and get it, or I would have done that by now. Although I did go and get my post from the next door neighbours.

So I’ve been thinking as one does now and then over the things I did with Mr G and I’m wondering whether or not I should go into town to get the morning after pill, because just like with the first – I feel like I should start calling him Mr first now – it was unprotected, which yeah I know is bad, but he did the whole pull out just before thing, but I was thinking better safe than sorry, right? So I was going to go in today, but then it was so miserable out and I was feeling so horrible, I just couldn’t. I could hardly drag myself to the first RAG meet and greet thing this afternoon, but I did go an found out more about the trips and the one to Machu Picchu seems pretty good, even if it is over £300 for the deposit to go, but I’m not sure when you have to pay the deposit by and all that jazz and fund-raising is hard, but it’s all for a good cause. I’ve also signed up for this food thing on Saturday, with some friends and since one of the societies that I’m part of, are trying to get together a team, I’ve said I’m interesting in being part of that team. The same friend that told me about this, also got me to agree to go to a Latin and salsa dance class tasted session, which actually seems good, but I’m not sure how much it’s going to be and if we’ll be given partners when we get there, or just partner up on our own or what not, since there might be more girls than boys and all that jazz, so have to see when it comes to it, but I’m completely bot against dancing with a girl as my partner.

Quote/saying of the day(s): I guess nothing puts a damper on a one-night stand as much as your friend pointing out all the opportunities where you might have been killed. – Mindy Kaling.

Social things that the brother brings.

So I was looking into flavoured cigarettes, as I’ve recently become something of a social smoker.

I know smoking kills, but there are ways to try and prevent it from killing you, not that they all work and with my luck I will probably die of it, even through I hardly even smoke, as I said social smoker. And I’m not just one of those people that says that, because they don’t want to admit they really do just smoke smoke smoke…

But any ways, I was looking into flavoured cigarettes, as my friend had this liquorice – I think – flavoured roll ups and I like them, more than straights at least. But then I stumbled onto shisha.

Now I’ve heard about shisha before and considered trying it, but then I was reading these articles about how bad for you it was and that sort of put me off a little, but then I stumbled upon e-shisha, which as far as I can find out doesn’t have any harmful side effects and isn’t addictive, as the way I understand it it’s easy to get addicted to cigarettes and then it’s a costly habit to keep up, as at the moment I just bum fags off of other people, since I don’t smoke by myself – so it don’t cost me a thing, most of the time.

So now I spent a little time looking into e-shisha and then decided hey why not try it, you tried smoking, so give this a go, since to begin with I was heading towards e-cigarettes, but roll ups are far easier to come by, when you don’t want to shell out cash. So now I’ve gone and got myself an e-shisha pen and some liquids – Limeade, lychee and mango flavoured. I thought the limeade sounded interesting and I love lychees and mangos, so hopefully I will like it. I only really got three because I’m rather indecisive and if I bought three I got one random one free, so I’ll be sitting by the post flap until they arrive and then hiding in my room for a while trying it out, because they’re e ones you can use them inside and don’t have to stand out in all weather, getting rained and snowed on and what not – if we even get any snow, which I hope we do.

 

So other than shisha, today I went to pick up my older brother, as he’s stay over for the weekend, because heading off to god’s knows where to do whatever it is he does and all that jazz. But he seems happy and healthy and he’s got himself a girlfriend, who from what I can gather from him, seems like a nice, although slightly wild, girl. But a bit of wild can be good.

Quote/saying of the day: Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. – Steven Wright

My brother had this written on his top today, so I thought I’d use it as the quote of the day.

Girl’s sweet chilli sunshine…

So I’ve been down in Cornwall for a week – well just less than a week – now and having a hell of a time with the girls. It was meant to be 5 of us, two guys and three girls, but in the end it was just 4 of us, although we did meet up with a friend that was already down there and her boyfriend. But the guys backed out, one because of personal reasons and the other because he’s a hot head and does stupid stuff when he’s angry.

So we spent an outrageous amount of time getting down to Cornwall, because of all the traffic on the way down, it seemed like everyone was heading down to Cornwall. Or perhaps like we were chasing the traffic, but whichever one it was, it all amounts to spending about 4 extra hours in the car, than we had to last year.

At least we didn’t get court in a traffic jam like this one!

This time around we went to this camp site on the side of a hill, OK we rolled around a little in the night and had to be careful with the camping stove, but the view was lovely! But that also meant that it was pretty windy on the camp site, so by the second day we had decided to peg the guide ropes down – that is what those ropes are called right?

Unlike last year we spent the majority of our time lounging around on different beaches, or swimming in the sea. But about halfway through the trip we decided to buy a boat, as we had found a island that we wanted to get to, but after careful inspection of the water, we decided that it was safe to try and swim to it, so we got the boat to hold onto and while two people sat in the boat the other two swam. It was actually really funny, because there was this weird seaweed that we had to swim through and on the way to the island one of my friend started screaming “I’m f*cking Harry Potter” as she swam through the seaweed, which became one of Holiday quotes.

Because the camp site was family friend – very much so, basically just family’s and couples – there were a lot of children around, which means having to wake up to them screaming, but the children in the tent next to us, although waking us up at god knows when, gave us a bunch of laughs. However we thought one of the brother’s was a girl for a while, before we actually saw them.

Although I said we spent most of our time on the beach, we did go to St Ives once, but we couldn’t find a parking space, so we ended up just driving around St Ives, and then going back to the camp site and getting drunk – which we did a few times, with the friend and her boyfriend. On one night I was felt alone with the boyfriend and the friend and so I said a bunch of inappropriate things to the boyfriend, as a drunk me is a unfiltered me – but it wasn’t awkward the next day or anything…

So other than St Ives, we went to this chocolate factory, which turned out to be one room, with people making chocolate behind this glass screen and then a bunch of shops. We only really ended up going there because it started raining, which it did a couple times, but we got some nice sunny afternoons and some warm evening, such as the one were we headed to Tesco in our Pyjamas. Where in the parking lot one of my friend called a guy ‘stupid for not wearing pyjamas to Tesco’.

Luckily for us our last day was pretty gloriously sunny, so we headed back to the beach where we sailed to the island and did some jumping off rocks. Unfortunately I forgot my swimsuit, so I only had bikinis, so I wore a shirt over the top, as I didn’t want to show off my flabby fat belly – as I haven’t been working out recently, and have been kind of eating fatty food. But as my friend said we’ve got a month or so to get fit, before we head to university – which was a sort of banned word on this trip, as we’re all a little scared/excited about going, well the one’s of us that are going.

But overall it was a good trip, although at one point one of my friends tried to stick her tongue down my throat. Not that I don’t think she’s a lovely person, but I always think it’s a little weird to get with a friend – even for just a night. That can lead to awkwardness and I’d rather conserve the friendship. Although I know the friend that tried to kiss me doesn’t totally feel that way about friendship and romance.

So I decided that I like sweet chilli, or at least I liked the sweet chilli sauce we had on our noodles one night. Although we did binge on crisps and sugar free Limeade a couple times, I think we did pretty well with the meals and what not, although we seriously underestimated the amount of money we would need for food, but luckily everyone had enough, so it was all good. Although I thought I was going to come back with some money left in my purse, I thought it would be a lot more than the amount I did come abck with, but hey ho, what is money for, but to spend – right?

Quote/saying of the day: When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them –  Confucius quotes (China’s most famous teacher, philosopher, and political theorist). I have a whole bunch of them written on a poster on my room door. Think I might take it to university with me and put on my door there or something. But then as my brother said when I put it up, who reads what’s on the door? As proven my Doctor Who.

Speaking of Doctor Who, the extra long episode is airing this weekend, can’t wait for it. Although I might be going out that night, so will probably be recording it and watching it the day after, although I think I would record it any ways.

Alright so I heard Taylor Swift’s new song on the radio in the car one day and thought I’d share. I’m not a really big Taylor swift fan, but I like her stuff – well some of it.

Now I would have put some photo’s in this post, but I seem to have misplaced my photo’s as I’m not sure where I imported them to. But when I find them I put them up, somewhere somehow and all that jazz.

To jump from a plane without knowing if I have a parachute on…

So today was results day. That nerve racking day that a large number of people, including nearly everyone I know, wish would never arrive and then it does and it’s all over or rather all beginning.

I was meant to wake up early and head into the city to get my results and that’s not what I did, I woke up early looked at the clock, turned over and went back to sleep, allowing myself to momentarily forget it was results day, but not for long, but for long enough for me to miss my bus. So I went online and spent a few annoying minutes battling with my own mind to remember my login details, before confusing myself over where to look for my results and when finally I found them, I just stared. I could hardly believe it, I check and I didn’t get the grades to get into my chosen universities, so I cried a little and then went on facebook to congratulate my friends on their personal achievements, the A’s and B’s slapping me in the face and making me wish the ground would just swallow me whole.ll

Then the father came in, asking about what my results were and if I wanted a lift in. It was horrible having to tell him I hadn’t got the grades, so he did what he does, question me – or rather interrogate me on what I was going to do now, go through clearing, do a third year. I didn’t want to even think about doing a third year, so clearing it was.

So just for something to do and to keep myself from bursting into tears, I logged into my email and what was sitting there an email from UCAS and under that an email from Bournemouth university, both congratulating me on getting into BU. It was like… jumping out of a plane and thinking you didn’t have a parachute, but finding out you actually did just in time, to open it and not come smashing down to earth.

So after taking a moment or a hundred to let in sink in. I thought yay, now I can relax a little, not so, today was a slightly hectic bustle of student accounts and applying for accommodation, which apparently I was meant to do weeks ago – oh dear – but I still got a room in a small house, with a think 3 other people. You had to fill out with little profile, which the other residents would be able to see, age name and they asked for a short statement, which I declined to give – although I wasn’t the only one. So I’ll be spending the next year living with a 18 year old girl who apparently likes to socialize, a 30 year old guy, who I know nothing else about and a mysterious person, because they wouldn’t let me see the profile on them, but that doesn’t really matter, as long as they are nice and all that jazz. I thought it was best to go for a smaller house, less people to the number to showers and other facilities and also the other smaller places only had one person confirmed and I thought it best to know a little about the people I’ll be living with and all that jazz, than live with complete mysteries – although one of them will be, for some unknown reason. I also signed up for the buddy program they have, so apparently I’ll be getting a buddy and they have a pizza, bring your buddy night, were you get free pizza, now I’m always up for free stuff, so I’m hoping my buddy is nice, so we can go to that and get free food – yay freeness!

So after everything was sorted, me and the father headed into town, because we had some errands to run and since we were already in the city, we ate out and went to see Guardians of the Galaxy, which I can honestly say I like. – This may contain spoilers! – The plant at the end was cute, although that bit didn’t really surprise me. But I’m wondering if they really will continue to make more films, since I think this one went down well, so I don’t see why not.

So along with a little accounting and some payments that need to be made, tomorrow will be filled with packing and working out and things to that nature, since I’m heading down to Cornwall this weekend and I’ve sort of let myself go to seed, so to speak. I know one day won’t make the biggest of differences, although one day of only eating 2 meals and no snacking, can drop my weight by about 2 stone, but still, one day of healthiness won’t change that much, but I’m still going to try,since I’m hoping for sunshine so I can get my bikini out, before the summer ends – and the work begins. And even if it does rain I might be that one insane girl that wanders around in short shorts and a bikini top like she isn’t shivering in the cold wind and doesn’t have goosebumps all over her arms and can still feel her toes and fingers – although that does be a slightly desperate and almost completely insane move, but what can I say, I’m a little insane, as my therapists will one day most likely tell me, in her over polite way, with her big eyes staring at me, in that slightly creepy ‘I never blink’, way that they do.

And when I get back in 6 days or so, the brother is coming back, but before that the Grandparents have come over – from Jamaica – to see all their lovely grandchildren and children and all that jazz. So yeah the house will be bustling and I’ll be trying to pack for University and sort out all the things I’ll be needing – pots and pans and mugs and cup and all that domestic jazz. Oh the joy.

Quotes/sayings of the day: All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history. ~Joan Wallach Scott

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet. ~Stanislaw Lec

Alright so today I put a triad of sayings/quotes of the day, because I couldn’t choose one that I liked the most, so look over all three and perhaps they will make you wiser…

So I’ve liked Gabrielle Aplin since I first heard her song, ‘Please don’t say you love me’ and this song is lovely – in it’s our right – so there it is.

Sun, sand and ant bites… With a touch of Magic

So I’ve been in Jamaica for two weeks. I was writing this diary/journal things, which I was going to post on here, but then I reconsidered.

So I’m giving you all a basic run down of the wonders of Jamaica and having spent a week with my grandparents and a week by the sea, with high temperatures, all above 30 – during the day at least. It was nice, apart from the incredibly itchy ant bites, at least I think I was bitten by ants, because unfortunately they were dropping out of the tree, I was using to shade myself from the mid day sun, although I still got a lovely tan and some pasty tan lines to show it, because with me, it’s less noticeably than white people, when I get a tan. But apart from that it was a wonderful trip. Lots of fruit, which was great. We stayed in Negril – by the sea side – in a hotel for a couple of nights, more to be by the sea and catch the sun, but they had fruit out for every meal and we were down there for the 4th of July, when they were celebrating and luckily enough the night before I had met this cute Spanish guy, after his mother – at least I think it was his mother – saw us playing uno, which is a game we basically go nowhere without, because we tend to play it when… waiting for food in restaurants and times like that. So I bonded with this Spanish family over Uno and me and the guy walk along the beach and had some fun at the 4th of July celebrations that were going on there, while the father did whatever the father does. But unfortunately they left the next day – short lived friendship. Right over in Jamaica they have pot holes which you could – if you wanted to – literally take baths in, I mean it, well this was on the mountain road from the airport to my Grandparents house, so maybe not everywhere…

So I was meant to be going to Church on one of the Sundays we were there and I’m not really religious, but I kind of enjoy Jamaican church, because it’s so lively and completely different from the English church I had to go to as I child. My grandparents are very religious, as it seems quite a few people I met over there are – which is nice and all that jazz. But I the end I only went to quire practice with the grandmother, before we went out shopping, to find gives for the friends. Which I properly spent my 4200 Jamaican dollars on, which might sound like a lot to some, but it’s not really as much as it may appear to be. It seems Jamaica was one of those poor countries that had to deal with inflations and all that nasty business – I’m glade I never lived in a country where that was happening, it’s doesn’t seems to… great. So I got the friends so small trinkets, although I’m not too sure who I’ll be seeing before I – hopefully – jet off to the other side of the country, but I got enough for everyone and since I remembered my friend liked them I got some cigars in Rum and Chocolate flavour, so I’m hoping pull them out on this camping trip we’ve been planning and surprise everyone… or just someone. I was going to get Rum, but then I had this sudden realisation of great truth, that I could probably buy it cheaper in the UK and still get the same (ish) stuff.

So it rained a little, when we were at Negril – I’m hoping I’m spelling that right, because I have this nagging feeling I’m not, but oh well – there was a few short lived thunder storms, that rolled off into the Ocean, even though inland at the grandparents place, they were hoping for rain, because the plants were dying of thirst. But during the storms I watched American TV, which I find has a lot – I mean a lot – more adverts about food, than British TV does, although quite a few of the channels were just news news all the time and there were a couple Spanish ones, which is nice for the Spanish speaking guests. But I did get introduced to a couple interesting shows and watched some trailers for some films I now want to see, so it wasn’t a bad thing for anything.

I also finished the 6 books that I took with me; Poison study, Magic study, Fire study – I have fallen in love with the study series ad the author and am now going to buy the two first books of two of their other series – Fire – which turned out to be the second book in a series, although thankfully the books aren’t linking in characters, but place that they are set, so it shouldn’t matter I read the second one first – A wizard of earth sea – which I thought I had seen the movie of, but after reading it I realised I was wrong -and last but not least Blood Promise – a book in the Vampire Academy series, that I have been working my way through, only 2 more books left. I’m a bit of a vampire fan, although I cannot read Twilight, literally, I tried and I couldn’t get past the first chapter, although I went to see the films, because I wanted to give it a shot and I think that it could have been well really good, but it was missing something or something like that, but the writing oh god it was… indescribably in a bad way – sorry to the author, but honestly I cannot understand how anyone could read that book let alone more that 1 of them, maybe the writing got… better later on and the first chapter or 1st book was just badly done – not that I’m an expert writer or anything… (and I also finished fifty shades).

While I was over there, I had the whole stranger in a strange place thing going on, which was nice – if you don’t know what I mean, I’m not sure how to explain it…

So here some pictures…

 

So yeah, that’s my holiday – more or less – in picture form, with all the pictures of me and the family taken out and a couple of shots here and there removed, because of blurriness. So as you can see, lots of fruit, which leads on to, I love Jamaican food, sure I don’t eat all that much, but over there I just wanted to sit around and eat all day – sometimes – especially some of the dishes the grandmother made and plantain, I could eat that by the barrel, I was seriously considering packing some up into my suitcase, but in the end I didn’t, mainly because we had already been stopping on the way into the country, because of the father or rather probably because of the brother, but I won’t get into that – only to say we did nothing wrong.

So this weekend I went to the Harry Potter studio tour, with a friend of mine, as she got tickets for her birthday, it was really fun and we stayed in Premier Inn over night. Although I’m almost certain one of the staff members was into my friend, but she failed to see it.

We had a lot of laughs, so it was a good trip. On the way there, we got stuck in this traffic jam and my friend – who’s driving – is looking out the window and goes, ‘oh hey look at that dog’ so I’m looking at this car, and not seeing a dog and then she goes ‘oh shit, it’s an old lady’ it was so funny – maybe sorta more had to be there thing – but trust me it was funny, but the whole trip was a bit like that, like she goes over to a hanger on this rail thing by the door of the room and goes ‘hey look, I’m  a coat’ I mean it’s like we’re scripted sometimes, although I often say people would pay to watch the sorta crazy shit we get up to sometimes.

But hey ho a great day and I tried butter beer for the first time, although it was a little underwhelming, not bad, although the cream left a bad taste in the mouth, just underwhelming, maybe because they’re drinking it all the time, like it’s really amazing, is why I thought it would taste more… extraordinary.

Quote/saying of the day (or rather last couple weeks): I love the feeling of being anonymous in a city I’ve never been to before.

In need of a ladder to reach the Fruits of my labour…

So as it turns out, after a bit of emailing back and forth their going to read my short story out at the event, as they were going to replace me after not hearing back from me for a while, but now it seems that I won’t be able to make it, as it’s being held in Brighton and I’m basically on the other side of the country, so public transport is super expensive, especially as I’m no longer classed as a child and I don’t want to get done and have to pay some stupid fine, just because I’m to poor to be able to pay for an adult ticket, which seems to be a problem for quite a few people online.

So now I’m feeling all down and angry about the whole thing, all over again. They have offered to read it out at a future one, if I can’t make it, but this was sort of my light in the darkness thing, since everything just seems to be going to the crapper lately. But hey ho the universe hates me right now, or maybe I’ve just been a bad person or something and this is karma. Who knows?

At least the weather is turning more summery lately, so my outfit choices make sense to the rest of the world now. I didn’t really both to change to my ‘proper’ winter wardrobe, as I’ve been wearing skirts and shorts a lot all year, which most people would class as summer clothing. But with the warm weather coming that means I’m going to have to catch back up on my beauty routine, as with most women in the winter, I haven’t really removed the hair from my legs for the majority of the winter and taken to covering them up instead. I mean there were times when I did, but not really as religiously as I do in the summer, when I have my legs out all the time/as much as possible, as I actually am kind of proud of my legs, due to them being all well toned and what not. Mainly thanks to all that horse riding and track (short distance running) that I used to do. Luckily for me they haven’t yet given up and turned to fat, although I live in fear.

But then again I have been getting back into exercise, as I’m trying to get a slimmer waist, not that I think I’m fat, I’m just fatter than I want to be. (I feel like I’ve said that before?)

Anyway while I’ve still got you, I might as well continue talking about this short story writing competition that I won, because that’s the thing that is holding my attention at the moment – mainly because I’m using it to block everything else out. So just in case I do get down there and my piece is read out, I’m going to put the location time and place up, with the hopes of persuading one or five people to go and watch and be ‘amazed’ by my short story.

Time: 23rd May at 8pm

Place: The Latest Music Bar, Brighton, BN2 1TF

Oh it’s called Speaky Spokey – I’m not too sure if there’s actually an ‘e’ in the word Spokey, but I don’t think that matters too much. So I’ve felt a link to their facebook page, where you can get a ticket to the event, which is music and poetry and other stuff.

Quote/saying of the day: Die, my dear Doctor, that’s the last thing I shall do! -w

I feel like I should have more to say but I don’t. I just want to put my fist through a wall right now, or throw myself out a window. But then both involve bad reoccupation, so the future messes up those grand plans.

 

Faith or love, with fight or flight

So it seems my year or so of peace, was only going to last that long. It’s a pity because I thought that I could do this and overcome the ‘demons’ of my past. Normal was beginning to feel like an actual thing for me, I mean I was quite ordinary in the sense that I would have liked to have been, but I thought I was getting there, how stupid and delusional that idea seems now. If I was religious I would probably be saying that this is my punishment or something – I mean I was a certain type of religious – but I’m not. To be honest a lot of the religious people I meet scare me, but I’m also fascinated by them. Putting so much faith in the idea of one thing, one high power, which they would do anything for. That’s also the thing that fascinates me about love, but then maybe faith in God and love for another person – or persons – aren’t all that different and maybe that’s just another one of my problems.

Oh dam I’m just whining again, I tend to end up doing that a lot, all bark no bite. But then if you pushed me into a corner, I’d bite your throat out if I thought that was the way out. If it’s me or someone else, I think I’d probably most of the time choose me, although I suppose it might change depending on the person, but it’s just biology. Like the other day my friend wanted to find out if people were fight or flight as their ‘natural setting when scared’ she was went around scaring people in one way or another and it seems I’m fight, I almost punched her in the face.

So today was a wet the cold summers day, because yes it’s meant to be summer now, but someone forgot to tell the weather, because it’s still acting like it’s the beginning of spring. It’ll be Easter soon and I can’t wait, because with Easter comes a holiday and with a holiday comes time away from… everything that I don’t want to be around. Although I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to eat Easter eggs, because of my diet and to be honest that sort of the only part of Easter that my family has done in years, but when I was younger we used to celebrate a bit more, and the Grandmother sometimes came over, with the religious side of it, which is one of the reasons why I know that Christ wasn’t born on Christmas day, but let’s not get into that. But then I might just break my diet and gorge on chocolate then go into a sort of dark spiral and stop eating properly for a while, then take the diet back up again, but hey-ho the world has wicked things in it.

So… I went to see that new Noah film over the weekend, which is probably what got me thinking about religion and all that. I was surprised it was a 12A, because there was quite a bit of violence/gore in it. Such as the bit where the men are ripping animals apart and the bit where the girls gets trampled to death and so on and so forth. And I also think it was exactly super accurate, but hey-ho artistic license and all that jazz. It’s not like they said it was going to be the actually bible story, but film based on the story I suppose. Although it did raise a couple of questions about incest, which I would one day like to ask a Christian about, as I’m sure there’s an answer, I just didn’t see it or something like that. Such as the whole Adam and Eve only have 3 sons. I never really thought about it before, but where did all the other people come from? Did God make more people or the 3 sons wives or something? I feel like I’m missing parts of the story. And then there were the fallen angels – I think I should have started this bit with a SPOILER ALERT, but never mind – I always thought they weren’t in the Noah story or the bible well this part. I was under the impression that the fallen were an adaptation or something like that – I feel like that’s not the right word, but I can’t think of anything better, and I trying to be an author, maybe you can understand why I have yet to succeed. But it did have my favourite bit in it. The bit at the end of the story… God’s promise – at least from what I can remember that’s what it is, but maybe I’m wrong and if so sorry about that.

But just so you know exactly what film I’m talking about here’s a trailer:

Quote/saying of the day: Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. ― C.S. Lewis