Shake and swear

Just another day in the life of the average university student, who’s living of cigarettes and coffee… Continue reading

Reunite to give the future thoughts

So yeah, today I went and met up with some of the girls for a late lunch and a little, but unsuccessful, shopping spree. It would seem that my taste in clothing and main stream clothing are completely different, which means high street stores don’t really have anything I like. There was some nice tops in Primark, but apart from that, there wasn’t really anything. I did buy a top, which I think I’m going to paint at some point during my holidays, but even though I didn’t manage to find anything amazing, I still had a good time.

It was nice to see my friends again and catch up a little, over Blue Lagoon – that’s a cocktail for those who don’t know – and a bagel. One of my friends also invited me to a party, although she had ulterior motives for doing so, because she wants me and this guy to ‘get together and having hundreds of babies’ and that’s a direct quote. But I’m not sure if I’m going to go. Sure I like parties and I will actually know some of the people there this time, but I’ll just see how I feel closer to the time I suppose.

I’ve got this weekend to look forward to, as we’re heading down to the cousins for Easter. I’m not too sure how they celebrate, because I know some people go the whole shebang. Although my family has only really started celebrating the holiday again recently. But I suppose I’ll find out this weekend.

Quote/saying of the day: Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. – Helen Keller

If you would be, oh so wonderful..!

So I’m doing a study for my Psychology course work and if you would be oh so wonderful and spare a moment to just fill out this questionnaire, it’s 3 questions long, so it take no time at all to fill out.

The whole thing is completely confidential, so need to worry about that.

And if you would be oh so lovely and ask others, I would love you forever! Because I need more guys to fill it out, as at the moment I don’t have enough.

So here’s the link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2P768YR

So pretty please help me out here!

Thank you lovely people.

So Valentines day is over for another year and I’m surprised by the lack of love in my house, I was expecting two of my house mates at least to spend the day with their significant other, but it would seem that only one of them did, although fortunately for me they didn’t spend it here. But I don’t think it would have been that romantic if they had, with the rest of us crashing in every now and then, to make food and what not in the kitchen.

I’ve been working out arrangements for next year and my new flat and everything seems to be going smoothly there – so yay for that!

Although I’m trying to find a way to persuade my father to come and pick me up for Easter, because I can’t really afford to take the train.

Quote/saying of the day: Doing nothing for others is the undoing of ourselves. – Horace Mann

The entrance of February Fever… Stage right

Recently I realised that although I tend to make friends with the sort of misfits that have their own superior uniqueness on their way of living, I’ve never actually been friends with someone with the same sort of uniqueness as myself. Alright so here I’m just saying uniqueness in the place of craziness or something along those lines. Yeah I consider myself a little – or perhaps a lot – on the side of insane, although not the type of insane that will slit your throat while your sleeping – at least not at the moment.

I consider myself a time bomb sort of insane, you can’t tell all the time and perhaps not just by looking at me, although I do have a strange sense of humour, it’s really quite dark sometimes and a strange style. But I once I’ve been set off I’m just… an explosion of insanity.

Alright so when I came to university, I thought I was going to meet a lot of new people and I was hoping that I meet some people more on my side of the walk of life and yeah I’ve meet some awesome people, who have similar interesting as me and that has made me realise just how much of a geek I can be, but I like that about myself and what not. But it seems that I’m looking in the wrong places, because so far not so much luck. Don’t get me wrong I like the friends I’ve made and all that jazz.

Any ways, moving on. It’s February and you know what special day happens in February… Valentines days. Now I’m sure I probably posted last year about how people do Valentines day wrong now and all that jazz and I probably sounded a little bitter, but I’m not a v-day person, maybe it’s because I haven’t been in a relationship for v-day, because I purposefully break up with my significant other before the ‘big’ day or maybe it’s because I find celebrating certain events sad, due to the fact that my mother dead – such as Christmas or Halloween or Guy forks night. But whatever it is I have noticed one thing about the run up to v-day, coupling. Yes this magical days has a strange effect on people in my generation, I’m not quite sure if it happens to people outside of my generation or not, because I have yet to observe such behaviour in them. Any ways, February is the month of coupling, when people start frantically looking for a partner, because they ‘can’t be alone for Valentines day, because well that’s just so sad’, this means a lot of people getting together with people who they vaguely like – although not all couples will be like that, because some of them will actually like their other half and just be using the occasion of express those feelings, which is nice – and then breaking up with them again by March time, because actually they realised they don’t like them that much or they’ve found someone better.

Honestly I don’t get it myself, but whatever. I’m not saying that if someone asked me out that I would say no because it February or something like that, but I would secretly be hoping that it wasn’t just February fever and that their liking of me was more than skin deep, because as much as I believe in the people of the world lack of love for me – call it my highly developed defence mechanism – it would be nice for someone to like me for something more than my body. Although the last time that happened I pretty much smushed him into the dirt – like I said it’s my highly developed defence mechanism, I didn’t say it was a highly developed happiness mechanism.

Any ways jumping over the rest of February – fever – and into March, my birth month and my brother – yay for that, because at first everyone thinks I have a twin, unfortunately not, just a coincidence. I’ve already decided that this birthday isn’t going to be a good one. I’ve got reading week over the week that my birthday is on and so everyone from my course is going to going home – well most of them including all my friends from my course – so I’m probably not going to celebrate, but to be honest I haven’t had a good birthday celebration, with my friends since before high school probably, I mean I’ve celebrated with the family and that’s nice, although I little saddening, because it makes me think of my mother and how I wish she was there, but also nice. But moving on, I’ve decided to throw myself a bit of pity party and to make sure that it isn’t interrupted I have hide my birthday on facebook, I considered ‘closing’ my facebook for the month, but my friends meant to be coming down the weekend before my birthday and facebook is a free way of communicating, so I opted for the hide my birthday and hope that people are so busy with their lives, that if they do remember my birthday, they don’t get round to sending me a b-day message on facebook. And then I’m also going to bake myself cupcakes, I was going to try and bake myself a cake, but I realised they buying silicone cupcake cases, was cheaper than buying a cake tin and also because I don’t have any scales, I’m going to buy some of that cake mix stuff and icing or if that doesn’t work out, just buy myself cupcakes and slightly binge.

I would go home for the week, but I really can’t afford that and I’m going to try and convince the father to come pick me up for Easter break, so I don’t think he’ll be willing to come pick me up 2 weeks before that as well. I don’t know why they decided to give us reading week 2 weeks before Easter break, it seems a little weird timing to me, but it must make sense to them. And then apparently we only have a couple weeks after that until we go on study leave, which I’m intending to use wisely – meaning that when it comes around I will do next to nothing until 2-3 weeks before my first exam. Speaking of exams, I’m not too sure if we can leave once we’ve finished all our exams or if we’re meant to stay, I don’t see why we would have to, since we won’t be doing anything, no lecture, no seminars, no exams. Which means that potentially my summer vacation could start quite early, if I have my exams dates right – which is slightly unlikely, because I’m not so good with dates, or names, or timing, maybe I should try and work on that or something.

Is it weird that I don’t essentially like reading my once posts? I mean sometimes some of them alright, but all of them no way, maybe it’s because of the spelling and grammar mistakes that I didn’t bother to correct the first time around or maybe it’s because I have a new mind set and way at looking at the world.

On wards… I’m trying to write a entry to a writing competition and I want to make it about the coupling that happens in February, but right now it’s not going too well, it’s got to be around 1,000 words or so and so far all I’ve done is half introduce the main character, I’m really not sure at all where the story is going or anything, so I’m sort of flying blind here.

Quote/saying of the day: Lazy days for Lazy people – Unknown.

 

Faith or love, with fight or flight

So it seems my year or so of peace, was only going to last that long. It’s a pity because I thought that I could do this and overcome the ‘demons’ of my past. Normal was beginning to feel like an actual thing for me, I mean I was quite ordinary in the sense that I would have liked to have been, but I thought I was getting there, how stupid and delusional that idea seems now. If I was religious I would probably be saying that this is my punishment or something – I mean I was a certain type of religious – but I’m not. To be honest a lot of the religious people I meet scare me, but I’m also fascinated by them. Putting so much faith in the idea of one thing, one high power, which they would do anything for. That’s also the thing that fascinates me about love, but then maybe faith in God and love for another person – or persons – aren’t all that different and maybe that’s just another one of my problems.

Oh dam I’m just whining again, I tend to end up doing that a lot, all bark no bite. But then if you pushed me into a corner, I’d bite your throat out if I thought that was the way out. If it’s me or someone else, I think I’d probably most of the time choose me, although I suppose it might change depending on the person, but it’s just biology. Like the other day my friend wanted to find out if people were fight or flight as their ‘natural setting when scared’ she was went around scaring people in one way or another and it seems I’m fight, I almost punched her in the face.

So today was a wet the cold summers day, because yes it’s meant to be summer now, but someone forgot to tell the weather, because it’s still acting like it’s the beginning of spring. It’ll be Easter soon and I can’t wait, because with Easter comes a holiday and with a holiday comes time away from… everything that I don’t want to be around. Although I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to eat Easter eggs, because of my diet and to be honest that sort of the only part of Easter that my family has done in years, but when I was younger we used to celebrate a bit more, and the Grandmother sometimes came over, with the religious side of it, which is one of the reasons why I know that Christ wasn’t born on Christmas day, but let’s not get into that. But then I might just break my diet and gorge on chocolate then go into a sort of dark spiral and stop eating properly for a while, then take the diet back up again, but hey-ho the world has wicked things in it.

So… I went to see that new Noah film over the weekend, which is probably what got me thinking about religion and all that. I was surprised it was a 12A, because there was quite a bit of violence/gore in it. Such as the bit where the men are ripping animals apart and the bit where the girls gets trampled to death and so on and so forth. And I also think it was exactly super accurate, but hey-ho artistic license and all that jazz. It’s not like they said it was going to be the actually bible story, but film based on the story I suppose. Although it did raise a couple of questions about incest, which I would one day like to ask a Christian about, as I’m sure there’s an answer, I just didn’t see it or something like that. Such as the whole Adam and Eve only have 3 sons. I never really thought about it before, but where did all the other people come from? Did God make more people or the 3 sons wives or something? I feel like I’m missing parts of the story. And then there were the fallen angels – I think I should have started this bit with a SPOILER ALERT, but never mind – I always thought they weren’t in the Noah story or the bible well this part. I was under the impression that the fallen were an adaptation or something like that – I feel like that’s not the right word, but I can’t think of anything better, and I trying to be an author, maybe you can understand why I have yet to succeed. But it did have my favourite bit in it. The bit at the end of the story… God’s promise – at least from what I can remember that’s what it is, but maybe I’m wrong and if so sorry about that.

But just so you know exactly what film I’m talking about here’s a trailer:

Quote/saying of the day: Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. ― C.S. Lewis