The entrance of February Fever… Stage right

Recently I realised that although I tend to make friends with the sort of misfits that have their own superior uniqueness on their way of living, I’ve never actually been friends with someone with the same sort of uniqueness as myself. Alright so here I’m just saying uniqueness in the place of craziness or something along those lines. Yeah I consider myself a little – or perhaps a lot – on the side of insane, although not the type of insane that will slit your throat while your sleeping – at least not at the moment.

I consider myself a time bomb sort of insane, you can’t tell all the time and perhaps not just by looking at me, although I do have a strange sense of humour, it’s really quite dark sometimes and a strange style. But I once I’ve been set off I’m just… an explosion of insanity.

Alright so when I came to university, I thought I was going to meet a lot of new people and I was hoping that I meet some people more on my side of the walk of life and yeah I’ve meet some awesome people, who have similar interesting as me and that has made me realise just how much of a geek I can be, but I like that about myself and what not. But it seems that I’m looking in the wrong places, because so far not so much luck. Don’t get me wrong I like the friends I’ve made and all that jazz.

Any ways, moving on. It’s February and you know what special day happens in February… Valentines days. Now I’m sure I probably posted last year about how people do Valentines day wrong now and all that jazz and I probably sounded a little bitter, but I’m not a v-day person, maybe it’s because I haven’t been in a relationship for v-day, because I purposefully break up with my significant other before the ‘big’ day or maybe it’s because I find celebrating certain events sad, due to the fact that my mother dead – such as Christmas or Halloween or Guy forks night. But whatever it is I have noticed one thing about the run up to v-day, coupling. Yes this magical days has a strange effect on people in my generation, I’m not quite sure if it happens to people outside of my generation or not, because I have yet to observe such behaviour in them. Any ways, February is the month of coupling, when people start frantically looking for a partner, because they ‘can’t be alone for Valentines day, because well that’s just so sad’, this means a lot of people getting together with people who they vaguely like – although not all couples will be like that, because some of them will actually like their other half and just be using the occasion of express those feelings, which is nice – and then breaking up with them again by March time, because actually they realised they don’t like them that much or they’ve found someone better.

Honestly I don’t get it myself, but whatever. I’m not saying that if someone asked me out that I would say no because it February or something like that, but I would secretly be hoping that it wasn’t just February fever and that their liking of me was more than skin deep, because as much as I believe in the people of the world lack of love for me – call it my highly developed defence mechanism – it would be nice for someone to like me for something more than my body. Although the last time that happened I pretty much smushed him into the dirt – like I said it’s my highly developed defence mechanism, I didn’t say it was a highly developed happiness mechanism.

Any ways jumping over the rest of February – fever – and into March, my birth month and my brother – yay for that, because at first everyone thinks I have a twin, unfortunately not, just a coincidence. I’ve already decided that this birthday isn’t going to be a good one. I’ve got reading week over the week that my birthday is on and so everyone from my course is going to going home – well most of them including all my friends from my course – so I’m probably not going to celebrate, but to be honest I haven’t had a good birthday celebration, with my friends since before high school probably, I mean I’ve celebrated with the family and that’s nice, although I little saddening, because it makes me think of my mother and how I wish she was there, but also nice. But moving on, I’ve decided to throw myself a bit of pity party and to make sure that it isn’t interrupted I have hide my birthday on facebook, I considered ‘closing’ my facebook for the month, but my friends meant to be coming down the weekend before my birthday and facebook is a free way of communicating, so I opted for the hide my birthday and hope that people are so busy with their lives, that if they do remember my birthday, they don’t get round to sending me a b-day message on facebook. And then I’m also going to bake myself cupcakes, I was going to try and bake myself a cake, but I realised they buying silicone cupcake cases, was cheaper than buying a cake tin and also because I don’t have any scales, I’m going to buy some of that cake mix stuff and icing or if that doesn’t work out, just buy myself cupcakes and slightly binge.

I would go home for the week, but I really can’t afford that and I’m going to try and convince the father to come pick me up for Easter break, so I don’t think he’ll be willing to come pick me up 2 weeks before that as well. I don’t know why they decided to give us reading week 2 weeks before Easter break, it seems a little weird timing to me, but it must make sense to them. And then apparently we only have a couple weeks after that until we go on study leave, which I’m intending to use wisely – meaning that when it comes around I will do next to nothing until 2-3 weeks before my first exam. Speaking of exams, I’m not too sure if we can leave once we’ve finished all our exams or if we’re meant to stay, I don’t see why we would have to, since we won’t be doing anything, no lecture, no seminars, no exams. Which means that potentially my summer vacation could start quite early, if I have my exams dates right – which is slightly unlikely, because I’m not so good with dates, or names, or timing, maybe I should try and work on that or something.

Is it weird that I don’t essentially like reading my once posts? I mean sometimes some of them alright, but all of them no way, maybe it’s because of the spelling and grammar mistakes that I didn’t bother to correct the first time around or maybe it’s because I have a new mind set and way at looking at the world.

On wards… I’m trying to write a entry to a writing competition and I want to make it about the coupling that happens in February, but right now it’s not going too well, it’s got to be around 1,000 words or so and so far all I’ve done is half introduce the main character, I’m really not sure at all where the story is going or anything, so I’m sort of flying blind here.

Quote/saying of the day: Lazy days for Lazy people – Unknown.

 

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Eyes closed or open I can’t tell… It’s all History

So I had this dream last night, where I was sitting in an old house – that I used to live in way back when. I was staring out the window and thinking about something or other, I think I was talking to myself – I do that see, in real life. And then suddenly it started to snow and it was really light at first, but then suddenly the world outside the window turned white and it was proper deep snow, like the kind we used to get here, according to the books and the elderly people. I think it was because I’ve been thinking about snow all week, because people have been saying it was going to snow by the end of the week, although as far as I can tell they were wrong, at least I haven’t had any snow around here, it’s rather spring-ish here actually.

Snowdrops and dandelions and all the other such things that signify the end of the winter months and the start of the weather ones. Most people would thinking that March might be a winter month, but it isn’t it’s Spring, at least in the UK, be maybe we’re just a little weird over here or something, but what the hell, I’m a Spring baby so I’m happy with the weirdness.

I myself used to have a little problem with dreams, you see I always dream in the third person, which means I always know when I’m dreaming – no one can try and use inception on me, yay! – but once out of the dream that’s when the problem crops up, because of the way I dream well it looks exactly like my memories. I mean spooky similar – yes that does mean I remember in the third person, don’t ask me how that works it just does. But I used to have a little problem working out if what I had dreamt was a dream or a memory, it was kind of frustrating, as most of the time the dreams would be completely ordinary things and involve other people, which lead to a couple – hundred – awkward conversations with people, or me waking up thinking it was one day or I had to do something and it wasn’t. Not that I was any good at telling what day it was. My sense of time was a little messed up back then as well – although it’s not exactly super great now – it wasn’t like I couldn’t tell the time, nothing like that. More like I couldn’t measure it by myself and if you asked me about something that happened a couple years ago, it would be like a couple months, maybe even days in my mind. Everything was squished together in piles of events and to my mind they all – nearly – happened at the same time, it was seriously confusing at times, but I worked around it and always gave vague answers to things concerning such things are times and dates. Although I took history back then – bad move – I could remember everything but the date of when things happened and you kind of need that to do well in history, but I did alright, I wasn’t expecting much. If you don’t expect too much you can’t get disappointed right?

Not the grands and most original philosophy┬áI know, but what the hell, in some cases you’ve just got to roll with the punches or at least try and dodge them so you don’t get smacked in the face.

So I hear this a while ago and forgot about it until now. I like it, but it’s not really a masterpiece or anything. But somehow I can’t seem to stop listening to it – or something like that.