A mile stone…

Just another little something from the average university student… Continue reading

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I’m young so I can be wild, what’s your excuse?

So recently I got this app on my phone called whisper, it’s this thing where you post messages with picture backgrounds and the whole thing is anonymous, which if you’ve read some of my previous posts, you would know is something I like.

So any ways, I’ve been posting a couple things, secrets and questions and base thoughts and all that jazz. The app has this private message things, so you can message the person who posted a whisper and chat with them, the private message part does have a couple small bugs in it though, which is annoying. But any ways so my first post, I think I got like 10 replies in about 5 minuets or something ridiculous like that.

But Saturday night I was feeling a little down and out of it, as at least two of my house mates, had gone out, one to his sisters wedding for the weekend and the other just out with friends, I would have gone outside and looked who was out there, but they all sounded drunk and I wasn’t so I didn’t want to really hang out with them sober, so I whispered something about being alone and not wanting to be and this guy private messaged me. We got to talking and he invited me over to his place, at first I was really unsure as to whether or not I would go, but he seemed really nice and he wasn’t being all sleazy like most the guys I’ve so far chatted to on whisper and he was talking about how we could just be friends if I wanted to and just hang out, so he drove over and picked me up. Now at the time there were some people outside, I’m not sure who it was because I didn’t bother looking, as to the fact I kind of didn’t want to know, but I know it was a girl and a guy at least, as I could hear them talking from my room.

I’m sort of hoping that it wasn’t the guy that I kind of like and all that jazz. As I’m not too sure what they thought was going on.

Any ways, so we chatted for a bit and then headed back to his place, as it looked a little weird just sitting in the car and all that jazz. He lived right by the beach so you could see it from his window, although by the time we got to his place, it was around 2:30, so I couldn’t see anything, especially as I wasn’t wearing my glasses. So he made me a drink, rum and coke – me favourite at the moment, after from Garden of Eden, because that was delicious – and we sat on the sofa and chatted for a little while, before he asked me about whether or not I minded him smoking and I was kind surprised, but we had a nice little smoke together, before he asked the ‘big question’ about whether or not I found him attractive, at this point I had to make a snap decision and that lead to use making out on his sofa, which wasn’t super comfortable, it was this sort of green fake leather sofa. So we moved to the bedroom and …

It was fun and after he was really nice and all complimenting me and all that jazz, so that nice and then we just lay and chatted for a little while, before heading back into the other room for another drinks and a smoke, which sort of went to my head a little, as I could feel it going a bit… fuzzy and light with the cigarette, which was nice, so we chatted for a bit more, before he went to find out the time. Only to inform me it was 5 am, bed time or something like that, at least we went back to the bed.

So I had a couple more firsts that night/morning and only got about 2 hours sleep, before he woke me up for a good morning greeting woody style. But hey it was fun and the same with the first.

So after that I did sleep for an hour or to, until he got up and then I just couldn’t seem to go back to sleep, so I just sprawled out in his bed and lay here for an hour or something, listening to him go about his morning, until I couldn’t take it any more and got up. He gave me a lift back and said he’d like to see me again. And in the end I sent him my number later that day and he’s sent me a couple messages today, so at least he’s not one of those guys that feels he has to wait a certain amount of time before texting the girl, because I do have a time limit and then I just ignore them, unless I really like them that is.

I’m not too sure if anyone saw me doing the walk of shame or not that morning, since it wasn’t that early, so people could have been up and all that jazz. I don’t even know if my house mates knew I was gone, because she hasn’t said anything and the one downstairs doesn’t talk to me, so yeah he hasn’t said anything either, but she could just be respecting my privacy and all that jazz, which is nice of her.

So Sunday day was truly a day of rest, as I didn’t want to do anything all day, as I was achy, tired and ill, as I have somehow got fresher’s flu, even though I was trying to be careful and everything, but I suppose I probably got it from someone in my lectures, since there was always people coughing in that, disturbing everyone and now that’s me.

Although I got this free Menthol e-liquid, with the ones I ordered the other day and apparently Menthol is good for colds, although I’m not sure how true that is, but I don’t think it will hurt really. Although I may have given it to Mr G, but I did say I had fresher flu, before he came to pick me up, so he was duly warned, when we started that adventure.

Although he was telling me about the university, back when he went to it and I found it surprisingly interesting to see how it had changed.

So moving on I was so tired when I got up this morning, although I did go to bed at 10 last night, but I couldn’t sleep because my skin was reminiscing about the mornings activities. So I woke up still aching in a freezing room, as I had accidentally left my window open all night and it was poring it down outside and all I thought was ‘I really don’t want to get up right now’ but I had a 9 o’clock lecture, so I managed to drag myself out of bed at 7:15 and put on a whole bunch of layers and a coat, which I don’t really like very much, but I don’t have anything else really, because I still haven’t got my hoody back yet – I shouldn’t have given it to her in the first place and I keep meaning to send her a message or something, but by the time I get around to it, it’s late at night and I think that would be a little weird, so I keep waiting until the next day – it’s a bit of a circle – and since I don’t know where she lives I can’t go over and get it, or I would have done that by now. Although I did go and get my post from the next door neighbours.

So I’ve been thinking as one does now and then over the things I did with Mr G and I’m wondering whether or not I should go into town to get the morning after pill, because just like with the first – I feel like I should start calling him Mr first now – it was unprotected, which yeah I know is bad, but he did the whole pull out just before thing, but I was thinking better safe than sorry, right? So I was going to go in today, but then it was so miserable out and I was feeling so horrible, I just couldn’t. I could hardly drag myself to the first RAG meet and greet thing this afternoon, but I did go an found out more about the trips and the one to Machu¬†Picchu seems pretty good, even if it is over ¬£300 for the deposit to go, but I’m not sure when you have to pay the deposit by and all that jazz and fund-raising is hard, but it’s all for a good cause. I’ve also signed up for this food thing on Saturday, with some friends and since one of the societies that I’m part of, are trying to get together a team, I’ve said I’m interesting in being part of that team. The same friend that told me about this, also got me to agree to go to a Latin and salsa dance class tasted session, which actually seems good, but I’m not sure how much it’s going to be and if we’ll be given partners when we get there, or just partner up on our own or what not, since there might be more girls than boys and all that jazz, so have to see when it comes to it, but I’m completely bot against dancing with a girl as my partner.

Quote/saying of the day(s): I guess nothing puts a damper on a one-night stand as much as your friend pointing out all the opportunities where you might have been killed. – Mindy Kaling.

Losing logic in the waiting game…

So I went out with the girls yesterday and saw that film ‘If I stay’, which I think was quite good, although all my friends seem to think that there should have been a different – long – ending, but I’m on the fence about that. The one it has leaves to the imagination a little, which is nice, rather than having everything spelt out for you.

After hanging around the city a little, doing a little shopping for university, we headed back to mine, to meet another friend. But by the time we settle down to watch films and drink, I was exhausted, I’m not sure why, maybe because I had my appointment with my counsellor and it was quite an emotional one – since she was really digging around in the nitty gritty stuff and I told her about my weekend – or maybe because I’m all anxious about the fact that mother nature has yet come to say ‘hello’, although I’m trying not to think about that, at least until the end of the week, then I think it’s alright to freak out and all that jazz, but I’m hoping I’m just stressing over nothing. If not that I’m going to have to tell the father and go see the doctor, which I’m sure will just be bags of fun, I don’t know if I’ll tell the guy though, it’s not like I would keep it, so I don’t think I really have to, although he might end up hearing it through my friend, because I’ll probably end up telling her – you know us girls we tell each other everything, well nearly everything.

So to keep my mind off the topic, I might start doing some packing today, although I’m not to sure where to start, maybe with my clothing, but every time I think about packing my clothes, I go out or something an end up taking my my clothes out to decide what I’m going to wear, so the packing just doesn’t happen, but now I’m thinking I won’t be going out as much next week and although I’ve got some stuff planned for this weekend, I can just not pack the things I think I might wear then and pack other things. I’ve still got to get a couple things, but I think I’ll either get them this weekend or on Monday, so all that’s good.

So recently I realised that I have a strange sort of logical way of doing things. It’s like I don’t want to get hurt or hurt other people, but I don’t want to regret not doing things, since I wouldn’t rather regret doing it, than not doing it. But I seem to be making myself do something that I am regretting, but I don’t know how to fix that, or maybe I don’t know how to fix it without there being an outcome that could hurt me and possibly someone else. But since I have a strange way of seeing nearly all the outcomes – in a way – I know that there is one where both parties could end up not getting hurt, alright there’s quite a few, but right now it seems those couple were one or both of us gets hurt seem to be the thing holding me back, because despite my efforts I have formed an attachment to them, but I have a feeling that comes with the territory.

It’s just a little weird for me, because I don’t usually have such a problem letting go, especially someone who I don’t know that well, so this is all a little new and weird to me, but I thinking that I might just get over it with time, hopefully.

So my new phone came today. I got it free with a new pay monthly contract, since before I was on pay as you go, but the father insisted that a contract would be better for university, so in the end I got it. So I spent a while moving all my stuff from one phone to the other and then arranging for the number to be changed from the old one to the new one, because I don’t want to have to learn a new number, it took me something like 3 years to learn the one I’ve got now, given I wasn’t really all that bothered about learning it in the first place, but after I had had it for such a long time, I thought it would be a good idea to learn it, so I did. They say it’ll take 24 hours, so I’m not too sure which phone I should be using tomorrow, although I think it’ll be obvious if the number has been moved and all that jazz.

I also pulled a bunch of my clothes out of the closet to pick out outfits for tomorrow, I decide on something for the meal with the friend, but I’m not too sure about what I’m going to wear to go out with the girl in the evening, because I don’t really want to wear any of the dresses I have at the moment, so maybe I’ll see if I can borrow something from someone or something like that, but then again, I might just dress down a little and go with a skirt or shorts instead of the usual dress, we’ll see on the night I suppose.

Quote/saying of the day: A feeling of sadness and longing that is not akin to pain and resembles sorrow only as the mist resembles the rain. -Henry Wadsworth.

So I heard this recently. Interesting have these girls team up, I mean I’m not much of an Ariana Grande fan to be honest, I liked the song she did with Mika, although he looked a little… off in the video. But other than that I don’t think I’ve heard a song by her that I liked. I’m sort of on the fence about this song though, in a way I do like it, but then in a way I don’t. I don’t think I’m going to be rushing to add it to my music collection, but if it’s on the radio or what not I’ll probably listen to it.

I’ve been reading this book lately, well re-reading it. It’s quite an old one really, 1989. But I was feeling nostalgic recently, so I decided to read it. It’s ‘In the Kingdom of the Carpet Dragon’ and is about a princess and her pet dragon and these adventures they have during her birthday celebrations. It’s a children’s book, so I’m getting through it like nothing, but it brings back memories. Even when I know what’s going to happen I still like re-reading books and re-watching film and all that jazz. I always seem to end up watching films twice, even ones that I may not have liked very much, I’m not completely sure why, but yeah I just do.

I’m still not sure which books I’m going to take with me when I go, because I don’t want to take too many, since I don’t really see myself doing very much reading, but I want to have a selection and all that jazz.

Supportive friends and truth telling

So my friend was really nice today and came into the city with me, to get the morning after pill, but because I waited so long apparently it only has around 60% chance of working. But I suppose I’ll have found out by the end of the week – when mother nature comes to visit – ah for now we’ll be playing the waiting game.

So apart from wandering to a bunch of places, before being interviewed and given the pill, we went shopped and I got myself some new shoes, because I really needed some and my friend enlightened me about the guy I had slept with, over a cup of green tea, her being his friend and him being a close friend of her boyfriend, she knew him quite well – which sort of breaks my first rules, don’t get with people my friends know, but I’ve decided no matter what I’m not going to regret this, I don’t want this to become a regret.

It weird because apparently he has girls falling all over him, but he’s picky, or at least she seems to think he is, so ever so and so, she would mutter ‘I can’t believe you did it with him’ or something to that effect, even though she now wants us to get together, but I blatantly refused. I’m going away to university and I really don’t want to do the long distance thing. I’m not the sort of person who could make that work, maybe one day, but not now and I think he feels the same way about it, either that or I sort of stomped that idea out, when I told him we would never meet again, which is probably true, although my friend is trying to change that. Maybe if certain things were different, but things are the way they are, so hey ho life goes on and all that jazz.

I think I sort of annoyed her a little though, because I kept giggling when I remembered things and I wouldn’t enlighten her, but to be honest I think she won’t have thanked me for enlightening her, since she knows him and all that jazz.

I’m going back into the city again tomorrow for a few hours, before meeting up with some girlfriends and going to see that new film ‘If I stay’. I’m hoping it’s good, because I think it could go either way.

Then their all coming back to mine and we’re probably just going to sit around and watch films and chit chat and all that girly stuff.

I was trying to cover my love bites with make up this morning, but they’re so dark that it doesn’t work and since I don’t really wear concealer and foundation and all that, the stuff I have it’s exactly expensive and amazingly good, so in the end I just left them and dealt with the looks that some people gave me. Although a couple older women did glare at me in a nasty way, I think the overall reaction was ‘look away’ or ‘stare’ and since I like to wear tops with writing on them, I’m used to people looking at me, since they’re usually trying to work out what my top says, which was a little unnerving at first, but I got used to it. I’m not going to change my style, just because of that.

Quote/saying of the day: If you smile while no one is around you really mean it. -Unknown

When I was really little, my mother told me you should always smile at babies, because it teaches them to smile. It sort of sounds silly and all that jazz, but whenever a baby looks at me, I still smile, just in case.