To jump from a plane without knowing if I have a parachute on…

So today was results day. That nerve racking day that a large number of people, including nearly everyone I know, wish would never arrive and then it does and it’s all over or rather all beginning.

I was meant to wake up early and head into the city to get my results and that’s not what I did, I woke up early looked at the clock, turned over and went back to sleep, allowing myself to momentarily forget it was results day, but not for long, but for long enough for me to miss my bus. So I went online and spent a few annoying minutes battling with my own mind to remember my login details, before confusing myself over where to look for my results and when finally I found them, I just stared. I could hardly believe it, I check and I didn’t get the grades to get into my chosen universities, so I cried a little and then went on facebook to congratulate my friends on their personal achievements, the A’s and B’s slapping me in the face and making me wish the ground would just swallow me whole.ll

Then the father came in, asking about what my results were and if I wanted a lift in. It was horrible having to tell him I hadn’t got the grades, so he did what he does, question me – or rather interrogate me on what I was going to do now, go through clearing, do a third year. I didn’t want to even think about doing a third year, so clearing it was.

So just for something to do and to keep myself from bursting into tears, I logged into my email and what was sitting there an email from UCAS and under that an email from Bournemouth university, both congratulating me on getting into BU. It was like… jumping out of a plane and thinking you didn’t have a parachute, but finding out you actually did just in time, to open it and not come smashing down to earth.

So after taking a moment or a hundred to let in sink in. I thought yay, now I can relax a little, not so, today was a slightly hectic bustle of student accounts and applying for accommodation, which apparently I was meant to do weeks ago – oh dear – but I still got a room in a small house, with a think 3 other people. You had to fill out with little profile, which the other residents would be able to see, age name and they asked for a short statement, which I declined to give – although I wasn’t the only one. So I’ll be spending the next year living with a 18 year old girl who apparently likes to socialize, a 30 year old guy, who I know nothing else about and a mysterious person, because they wouldn’t let me see the profile on them, but that doesn’t really matter, as long as they are nice and all that jazz. I thought it was best to go for a smaller house, less people to the number to showers and other facilities and also the other smaller places only had one person confirmed and I thought it best to know a little about the people I’ll be living with and all that jazz, than live with complete mysteries – although one of them will be, for some unknown reason. I also signed up for the buddy program they have, so apparently I’ll be getting a buddy and they have a pizza, bring your buddy night, were you get free pizza, now I’m always up for free stuff, so I’m hoping my buddy is nice, so we can go to that and get free food – yay freeness!

So after everything was sorted, me and the father headed into town, because we had some errands to run and since we were already in the city, we ate out and went to see Guardians of the Galaxy, which I can honestly say I like. – This may contain spoilers! – The plant at the end was cute, although that bit didn’t really surprise me. But I’m wondering if they really will continue to make more films, since I think this one went down well, so I don’t see why not.

So along with a little accounting and some payments that need to be made, tomorrow will be filled with packing and working out and things to that nature, since I’m heading down to Cornwall this weekend and I’ve sort of let myself go to seed, so to speak. I know one day won’t make the biggest of differences, although one day of only eating 2 meals and no snacking, can drop my weight by about 2 stone, but still, one day of healthiness won’t change that much, but I’m still going to try,since I’m hoping for sunshine so I can get my bikini out, before the summer ends – and the work begins. And even if it does rain I might be that one insane girl that wanders around in short shorts and a bikini top like she isn’t shivering in the cold wind and doesn’t have goosebumps all over her arms and can still feel her toes and fingers – although that does be a slightly desperate and almost completely insane move, but what can I say, I’m a little insane, as my therapists will one day most likely tell me, in her over polite way, with her big eyes staring at me, in that slightly creepy ‘I never blink’, way that they do.

And when I get back in 6 days or so, the brother is coming back, but before that the Grandparents have come over – from Jamaica – to see all their lovely grandchildren and children and all that jazz. So yeah the house will be bustling and I’ll be trying to pack for University and sort out all the things I’ll be needing – pots and pans and mugs and cup and all that domestic jazz. Oh the joy.

Quotes/sayings of the day: All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history. ~Joan Wallach Scott

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet. ~Stanislaw Lec

Alright so today I put a triad of sayings/quotes of the day, because I couldn’t choose one that I liked the most, so look over all three and perhaps they will make you wiser…

So I’ve liked Gabrielle Aplin since I first heard her song, ‘Please don’t say you love me’ and this song is lovely – in it’s our right – so there it is.

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Empathizing with the thieving princess and the guy on the end of the line…

So I’ve been texting this guy for a while now. It’s all pretty mundane stuff, like what we’re doing blah blah blah, but we haven’t texted in a while, so I thought, since I have some free time now, why not find out how he’s doing. But I’m not getting the idea that he’s a bit of a control freak, or at least doesn’t like moving forward with a plan, which seems to apply to every aspect of his life, including, but perhaps not limited to his ‘relationship’ with me – which is basically non existent, because we’re basically strangers. It’s all a little odd for me, especially as we’ve just had this long chat about trust, now trust really doesn’t come easy to me and he’s asking me for it. I mean trust him a complete and utter stranger, when I don’t even trust some of the people much much much more close to me, not that I don’t sometimes wish I did, but I’ve got issues and I’m dealing or something like that.

Although he’s got his own issues, which he likes to chat about sort half openly, one minute he’s all open and gushing and the next closed off and reserved. It sort of throws me off balance and send me back to the days of my – much more common – perpetual mood swings and all that jazz.

Although it seems I’m driving in at the deep end here, as I said I’d try and build up trust with him – what was I thinking. Perhaps this is another part of my life I can blag my way through, I’m pretty well versed in blagging my emotions, personality and whatever else I don’t want people to know about me – I think, although I’m only human, so human errors occur everywhere.

So I could of the gal pals came round today, so we could plan out our trip to the Isle of White, which is now no longer happened, it’s just too expensive with the ferry and all, but we’re looking into going somewhere else, such as Scotland. My friends all excited about looking for the loch ness monster, which sparked a discussion about the film water horse… And as it turns out my camping trip down to Cornwall might not happen as well – urge. I had a nice summer with stuff going on and now it’s just going down the drain. I wanted this summer to be… more, since it’s the last summer that we’ll diffidently all be together and all…

Oh shattered dreams, but it could still all pick back up, snaps the optimist in me – Forgot that I had one for a while, maybe she went on holiday.

Well at least I know I’m heading off to see the Grandparents in a week or so, which will be nice, since we don’t see them that often and – I know everyone probably says this but – my Grandmother’s cook is amazballs, or maybe just Jamaican food in general is good, or maybe somewhere in the middle, but either way I love the food I eat there and also I always feel better and more beautiful when I’m on holiday, I think it’s that whole stranger in a strange place thing and sure I do stick out a little, since I’m super pale in comparison to basically everyone we meet, unlike here, were I’m super dark in comparison, but hey ho, I love the colour of my skin so I don’t really care – one of the few things I do love about myself there.

Alright so I’ve been obsessed – which means I may have blogged about it before – this game recently- the past week or so. Monument Valley. It’s this little puzzle game – from the app store, no computer version unfortunately for me – and I really quite like puzzles games – surprisingly enough – but it’s not just that the games is fun and makes you feel like a little genius when you work out the puzzles, it’s gorgeous as well. I mean three cheers for the artists/artist of this game, because it’s absolutely gorgeous, although I wish there was more than 10 levels to play, although I think I could sit and play them over and over again, until I could do them with my eyes closed – I said I was obsessed. But I suppose it’s better to see it than take me at my word:

It also has a nice little story to explain the game. About Princesses and thieving and forgiveness, it’s all quite lovely really.

So onto something darker – sort of. I’ve got to the second book in the Fifty shade trilogy – as the back of the book calls it. Although I think part of it are slightly ruined by me knowing that there is a third books and all that jazz. And part from some glaring errors and annoying habits, prejudices and judgemental statements, I’ve sort of enjoyed reading it. I will admit right now that I think the whole books could have been better, but hey ho maybe that’s just because I’m not really into her style of writing – honest that might be because she American and I’m used to English writers, because some of the phrases she uses annoy me, but maybe they won’t an American I can’t say, it could just be me and nothing else, as well. Oh so many options. I’m nearly onto the third book now, which I am going to read and am half crossing my fingers that she drops and annoying repetition. Sure I can appreciate repetition, but she just seems to step over the line a little with her’s – step over the line the line is a dot to you (Friends quote there, thought I’d just put it in for a laugh). Although I have to say this books has given me some laughs, more than the first one, maybe, even.

Quote/saying of the day: People ask me why it’s so hard to trust people, and i ask them why is it so hard to keep a promise. – unknown

Ever since I hear them I’ve liked these guys and they have yet to disappoint – yay!

Hotties, Booze, Friends and sunshine

So I’ve been down at Cornwall for the last 5 or so many days, having a right good old time with a bunch of great friends.

The first day we got there it was wonderfully hot and after putting up and tent and flinging all our stuff into it we went down to the beach. There were three within walking distance, so we had some choice, although by the end of the trip – when we walked to a beach – we ended up walking to the nearest one. After mooching about in the water a bit, we got some fish and chips or rather I got some scampi and a drink – so not really fish and chips. Then we sat around on the grass and chatting while we ate for a bit, before – as he is known now – ab-man appeared to ask us about ‘if we had seen anyone around with tent, because his phone had gone missing’ – my friend got a little obsessed with him and he was a running joke for the rest of the trip.

When the sun was thinking about setting we headed back to the beach. A bottle of sourz and some cards in hand to play drinking games. In the end the cards were discarded and we played ‘I Never’, which is a good game, as long as you can think of things to say – you have to say something you’ve never done, then if some has done it they drink, simple, but funny.

After finishing the bottle we headed back for a good nights sleep, only to be woken up by the sound of rain splattering down onto our tent – in wasn’t the sound we wanted to wake up to. So after a little talking and some tea, we decided to stick to our original plan and go to Land’s End and Zenner. Which to be honest was not a good idea and we all got soaking wet. But we did get free parking at Land’s End for the rest of the week.

Considering that it was raining and there was a wedding on at the church we wanted to visit, we decided to give up for the day and head on back to the camp site. A little liquid courage – and a game of ring of fire – heated us back up and by nightfall we were out and about like hooligans. A little drunk and speaking – for some unknown reason – in accents, which I think were Scottish – great accent. We headed for the beach again. Some late night swimming or what ended up to be late night paddling, as in the sea weed put us off going in properly.

The next day we woke up to sunshine – it was a wonderful feeling to wake up to sunshine, after a raining day and a drunken night. So after breakfast and tea we decided that going back to Zenner was a good idea, so off we went and this time we got into the church to see the mermaid and also saw some pretty awesome vintage cars, which were parked outside, we thought it was someone birthday or some sort of club. After Zenner we headed off to a very beautiful and quiet cove that had rather rough wave, which were probably because of the heavy wind and rain the day before. Then we headed back to the tent and were my friend made a slightly burnt, but still tasty pot of stir fry – vegetarian, as we had vegetarian’s among us – and then somethings went a little wrong.

My friend’s boyfriend had been texting her during the trip and she was getting a little annoyed with him, as – before the trip – he had said it was OK for guys with girlfriends to look at other girl asses – he’s an ass man you see? – and so when she got a snap chat from him of a girls ass she sort of snapped. Now earlier on in the day we had been watching the fit guys outside play football, with some of the kids on the camp site. So this idea came on one of us – I can’t remember which one actually thought of it, but the idea was raised – that she should got over and get a picture with one of the hot guys to make him jealous. So we all headed out of the tent towards them. But a little way off my friend got embarrass and so I said I’d ask. So went up to him and asked if she could take a picture with him to annoy her boyfriend. He seemed a little weirded out, but did it anyways and like girls we went of laughing and sent the picture to him. This then culminated in him getting completely jealous and wanted to go off a cry in his room – he was on holiday in Greece. So my friend left really bad and called him, which ended up with her crying and saying that she was a bitch and a really bad and horrible person, which we all assured her she was not and to try and get her mind off of it, we went night swimming. But not before I had a nice conversation with who we called ‘colourful t-shirt boy’, about the hat I was wearing, when he asked if he could have it and since it wasn’t actually mine I said ‘no’. During the night swim my friends phone got dropped into the sea twice and so died – so she couldn’t text/call her boyfriend anymore, so she put her Sim in mine and use that to let him know she wasn’t ignoring him, and that her phone was broken. So after we got out of a ice cold water, we played another game of ‘I Never’ and got tipsy of sourz – which is a lovely drink. Then headed back to the tent.

Anyways so on wards. We also went to an old jail and a witch museum – which was kind of interesting, but also kind of creepy at the same time. I got myself a necklace that is meant to increase my psychic awareness and protect me – I haven’t died yet, so it must be working.

We also went back to lands end to see some fireworks on our last night and during the day went to this larger beach and got a boat to use on the sea – blow up boat, called Chastity – and lied on the sand watching the hunky life guards move around and stop people from drowning.

So on a whole it was a fun and eventful trip – although I can’t be bothered to go into detail about everything that happened here, mostly because I’m incredible tired and want to go to bed.