The scratch marks where worth it…

It’s been a little while, since the last one, but things have been going by quite like normal. I mean there have been some day to day things that have been… out of place with the routine, but in general things have been normal.

I’m a little worried about the next two weeks, but I’m hoping it will all just go by as if something happened.

Oh and then there’s Valentines day next week. I think I’ve probably posted about Valentines day and my thoughts on it. But this year one of my housemates wants to go out and buy Valentines day chocolate and have a chocolate party sort of thing and then another friend invited me to go to with anti-valentines day party thing, that’s going on at a club nearby, so it might pass a little differently than every other day with year.

My boss and the bar manager had a ‘date’ on Sunday. So I’m sort of looking forward to teasing her about that, the next time we seem each other. But then that’ll only be if the whole thing went well, if it didn’t then I’ll be avoiding the subject and work might be a bit awkward, so of course I’m routing for it to go well, partly because they’re always all over each other and it’s pretty plain that they like each other, I’m just not sure if it’s the same type of like from both sides, but hey I guess I’ll just get to watch, wait and find out.

I was looking through some old photos today and getting sad, over pictures of my cats, but then I remembered that me and a friend are going to the new cat cafe next Friday and got a bit happy again, because I really miss having pet and just want to spend some more time around animals. Back in September when I was applying for jobs, I did try and got some work where I would be spending time with animals, but unfortunately that didn’t quite work out, not that I don’t like the job I do now, but I miss being around animals.

I miss coming home to my cats and having them get all lovey dovey with me because they wanted me to pay attention to them, or feed them, or something and just watching them run around the garden and all that jazz…

I was alright with us having to get rid of our dog – it was for the best for him, but still it’s hard to give up any pet – because we still had the cats, but now there are no pets and I can’t get myself a pet and I don’t think I will be able to for a while, since I want to move a lot and some of those moves might be out of the country, so it seems a bit mean to be moving around a dog or cat like that all the time. I would want to be able to devote time to them, especially a dog. Some cats are alright with less affection, but I feel dogs need it all the time, sort of thing. Plus I don’t think I would feel right having a dog in a city area, since there’s less places for them to run around a stuff and that’s probably where I’ll end up living, at least some of the time… but then I have no idea what I’m going to do, or where I’m going to go in the future, so maybe I will be able to get a pet sooner than expected. I mean I could get something smaller like a hamster.

Any ways speaking of the future, as per usual I’ve been looking at Festivals that are going on over the summer, although I have no idea if I’ll go, but I did apply to work at two of them, just on the spur of the moment. Ones in Gloucestershire, while the other is in Budapest. I’d like to go to both, although they didn’t really have any information on the type of work applicates would be asked to do, perhaps it was because it’s quite a while until the festivals, so they’re not properly looking for people and what I did was sort of just put my name onto their list, then they’ll, give more information later.

I might do what I was going to do last year and work festivals. I mean I might as well… since I don’t think it will be easy to find a job in Bedford. Plus that way I’ll be able to go to the festivals. Last year I didn’t end up doing that for a whole bunch of reasons, but one of them was because I was worried about going to festivals by myself. I mean crazy shit can happen at some of these places, so I might chicken out again this year as well… who knows. Plus I didn’t think that places would want me and for some of the companies I couldn’t do most of the events anyways.

But we’ll see.

My friends want to go on holiday over the summer and go back to Cornwall again this summer, although I’m not sure if people will be able to do both, so it might just end up being Cornwall, but either way it’ll be nice to see them over the summer time and all that jazz. I mean a bunch are coming to on my bday trip and they want to meet up over Easter and go somewhere, outside of England, at the moment it might be Spain or Amsterdam, but people aren’t sure about how much they can afford and how long, plus with everyones schedules being different, it’s hard to find a good time.

But moving on… I was going to try and find the time to have a… chat with Mr.J, but since it’s the week before Valentines day, I might hold off, until after that has happened. I don’t want it to seem like I’m just court in February Fever – not that he would know what that is, since it’s something I made up, but he’d could think that, just not in that way, if that makes any sort of sense. I’m debating… I’ve been meaning to, but there just hasn’t been a good time, perhaps this is the Universies way of telling me, it’s best not to go there, or perhaps it’s not. But at this point I’m in the state, of not wanting this to become a regret that I’ll look back on and wonder ‘what if’.

It’s not like I’m thinking this will be forever, the other day I think I was watching something where a girl brought a guy back to meet the family and then I started thinking about what would happen if I brought someone back to meet the family and the people I imagined, were Mr. J, not until I specifically thought about that, you know?


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