The past may be history, but it sometimes comes to see me

So I was reading through some old emails, from my secondary school days, well its was more like four email chains. But it just reminded me what little shits my friends were. I mean I guess I wasn’t the best person in the world, but I hardly ever got involved with my friends dramas, to be honestly most of the time their dramas just ended up tiring me. But there was this one big one at the end of secondary school, which broke a friendship apart.

I was literally never around during that time, dealing with my own shit, so when I did pop up, most of the time I had no idea what was going on and no one saw fit to enlighten me. At time it just made me feel isolated, which made me even less likely to come back more often and then these emails started going around.

I wasn’t privy to most of the emails that apparently went round my group of friends at the time, but there were 2 that got sent to me. But during this whole time, I was mostly just thinking ‘what the fuck is going on? Why does everyone hate each other now?’ even now looking back on it, I think people were just being stupid little shits, but in true, I still don’t have the whole story – from both sides – so I’m still not sure what actually happened.

By the time we all travelled off to college, my friendship group had been split down the middle and I stood their in the middle – I think I’ve probably talked about this before, since I think I started this blog during my college days – so I tried to stay friends with everyone and I wish I could have. But one side of the friendship group… I don’t want to say that they couldn’t deal with my mental issues, because they didn’t know them, I didn’t know them, but that’s the best description I can give. I mean I’ve tried reaching out to them since, but no joy, it looks like we’re forever in ‘that person was my friend’ state and that’s a little sad, but that’s life. Perhaps one day in the future things will change, but I kind of doubt that…

Any ways that’s been a part of today – God my life can be dull sometimes, getting a melancholic over something that happened years ago… fuck.

 

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