So I’ve been at the new house for a week now and somehow my motivation has seemed to be sapped away, at least my motivation to write my novella, which I was hoping I would have finished by now. Perhaps it’s because it keeps getting longer and longer.
When I first started writing it, it was meant to only be 10,000 words long. I know that might sound like a lot when said, but honestly that’s nothing, when your writing something like this, when writing an essay that a battle.
But now it’s over 20,000 words and I still have a lot of stuff to put in. It just doesn’t want to end and don’t get me wrong it’s not like I dislike writing it, but it’s not like I’m enthralled by it either. I mean some of my stuff I read it back and fall in love, but this… I’m not sure. It’s not my usual voice, but I’m hoping others will like it, since – once I’ve finished it – I’m going to self publish it.
I’ve been doing a whole bunch of research into self publishing and promoting your own book and all that jazz. Now I’m not one of those people that’s all that good at social media and that seems to be one of the best ways to promote self published books, so at the moment I’m going to see if I can get my friends and family to help me with that. Plus think it would seem more… credible if someone other than the author says that ‘this book is good’ because I’m hoping that the truth and people will probably be more likely to buy something in that way. However I’m still thinking I want to publish under a different name for now, so I guess no one will know it was me that published it, unless I tell them.
Any ways more of writing, but this is for University. Yesterday I was checking my emails – uni ones – and saw that I had finally been told who my supervisor is going to be for my dissertation – yay!
Of course I was happy at first, but then once I opened the email I was no longer happy. As it turned out they’re trying to make me do my supervisors research study, instead of letting me decide on one of my own. Of course this made me upset, because I was dead set on doing my own one, which is why I couldn’t find a supervisor in the time set – there was so much shizz around that for me, it still makes me feel a little sick to think about it. So after so quick but actual quite deep research into the topic of my choice, I sent an email to my supervisor asking if she would let me pitch my research study to her, because I didn’t know that we would have to do her’s if we wer assigned to her.
I’m hoping she’ll let me, because this is a little unfair. Considering I’m not in this situation because I didn’t bother to look for a superivisor I’m in this situation, because I couldn’t find one in the time set, who wanted to work on my research with me. So if she does, I’ve got my pitch pretty much all ready to go, I’m still doing research for it and if she doesn’t then I’m probably going to throw a hissy fit and send emails to everyone I can think of trying to make them see it my way.
I know I’m being self-ish here, but I don’t want to spend my last year doing a study which I have no interest in and getting all upset about having to do it, therefore doing a bad job and making myself more upset because I’ve done a bad job and just having a bad time in general. It’s not like I need someone who knows about the topic I want to research, I’m not asking for that. I just need someone who can tell me if I’ve structured things right and stuff like that. I can do the research on my own. I mean sure it would be nice to have someone who could recommend book and all that jazz to me, but I’m alright without that – I hope.
Any ways other than those two things, I haven’t had much on my plate. I’ve been unpacking my room, even though I kind of don’t get the point, because I’ll be leaving again soon and therefore just have to repack it again, so I haven’t been going very fast with the unpacking.
Spoiler warning for below (sort of)
I also went to see the new Star trek and Suicide Squad. I liked them both, although suicide squad was a little… I mean I did go and watch some videos explaining and reviewing the film and one about some guy who’s trying to sue. But honestly, I liked the new Joker – what we got to see of him – lots of people were saying he was too over the top, but I didn’t think he did, each actor brings a different aspect to the Joker and comparing them is silly to me, sure I love Heath Ledger’s Joker – I just love him in a whole bunch of things – but yeah, no I don’t think it was too over the top, because I don’t think you can play the Joker too over the top really and some people were saying how he was all over the place and you couldn’t understand what he was doing or why, but he’s meant to be insane right?
I mean to a sane person things insane people do aren’t ‘logical’ and I think it wasn’t exactly a bad things that people couldn’t competely grasp the Joker, alright the fact that they supposed removed most of the scenes with the Joker in, is sad and sort of annoying, because I would have liked to have seen more of him. Also the whole thing about trying to make the Joker and Harley’s relationship seem more lovey dovey, is – in my eyes – silly, beause their relationship isn’t like that. It’s abusive, sure you can probably argue all day about whether it’s really love, but removing or reworking scenes to make it look more lovey dovey is… alright it just didn’t work too well for me – I will admit I’m not a hardcore fan or anything, so maybe it’s just the psychologist in me or something that wants to see the disfuctionality of their relationship.
Also the scene in the helicopter thing, when I was watching it, I was kind of like ‘wait, what just happened, that’s was badly edited’ then I found out they edited from being an abusive scene to a loved up (esce) one and realised why it was so confusing.
Alright that’s enough on that.
I’ve invited a friend to come stay with me, whether or not she will heaven knows. There’s the pesimistic part of me, which thinks she won’t, because she no longer wants to be my friend or something like that, but if she doesn’t I’ll be home alone again, from Thursday til Sunday, although I’m hoping that before that I can get my father to take me to the hospital. I would go myself – I have before many time in Bournemouth – but I hate going to the hospital and I might be able to get him to pay for my medication if me comes and when I go alone they always ask me whether I have someone to take care of me and it makes me all sad and shit, because I don’t and then they look at me like I’m some neglected child or something, which doesn’t make things better, so if I go wth someone, then I’m guessing they won’t ask about that.