High Functioning..? Sounds good on paper

Do not tell me that you love me, then turn around and tell me I am not the girl you fell for.
Do not whisper that I am beautiful, then mock me for my scars.
Do not listen to my laugh, then silence me for my disasters.
Do not tell me to be happy, then smack me for my joy.
Do not talk of forever today, then leave me again tomorrow.
I am not some fragile creature, a sweet and broken bird, but still I am not strong enough to listen to your words.
Although I never said I love you, again and again and again, when did you ever tell me, you needed me back then.
Do not tell me that you love me, then leave me here to dye.
Do not tell me anything, when you know it is a lie.

So I went down to the new house with the father and his girlfriend. It looked nice, although infinished, so I had to use the imagination a little, as to what it was going to look like. Although I did get to paint my room and choose the carpet and all that jazz. We also managed to paint the master bedroom after finishing all the ceilings and skirting boards and everything. It’s in a nice location as well, not in the center, just down the road, with the park quite near by – walking distance. We went for a little walk down to the river for dinner on the father’s birthday, which was nice, since we couldn’t find somewhere to eat, which was a little weird since it was a saturday night, but there was a lot of people out drinking. This place is going to fuel my alcoholism, although I think I’m more of a high functioning acoholic – not to sound like I’m tooting my own horn or nothing – from what I know about high finctioning alcoholics, but that’s probably because I don’t want to be an acoholic and I might be just being hard on myself and all that jazz.

day11

Any ways I’m meant to be meeting up with the old College gang this Wednesday and crashing with a friend over night, which was lovely of her to offer, because she seems to be the only friend to ever offer, which is lovely of her, I would return the favour, but she never needs me to, although I was always offering up my place, when I lived in the Shire, so I guess I did or something like that.

I’m kinda scared about moving now.I mean I don’t know anyone and I think it might end up being hard to find a good(ish) job there and everything, but I’m hoping for the best and in the end I only have to stay there for less than half the year, when you add everything up, since I’ll be spending most of my time in Bournemouth and then I’m hoping not to spend too much time there over the summer, for one reason or another, not that I don’t want to spend time with the father and girlfriend, but I… let’s not get into that right now.

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