Warped by Wonder

Ursula stared across the table at the little girl, who was sipping on her choco and getting cream smudged onto the tip of her nose, as if this was just a normal day for her.

So tell me again, how this happened” she said, before taking a swig of her own choco, which was heavily spiked.

If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, I’m not completely sure. I just woke up like this”

You can understand how… lame that sounds? I mean…” she trailed off and finished her choco.

So I bought myself a waist trainer.

Why? you ask, because I have a body image issues. I know I know, I should love myself and all that jazz and it’s not like I see people with probably the same or more body fat and think they look ugly or whatever, I think they look nice, beautiful, healthy, but on me, I’m just think I look gross. I know I have a warped view of what my body should look like and I’m dealing with that, but buying a waist trainer and using that everyone now and then – because I’m lazy and probably won’t use it that often – is better than me starving myself, not that that won’t happen, but it won’t be happening because I think I’ve got too much fat here, or there or everywhere.

Although most of the time when I stop eating it’s not because I want to lose weight, it’s because I can’t… well there’s a bunch of factors really, but one of the big ones, is because sometimes I can’t get out of bed or sometimes I can’t acually swallow food – although I think that’s all in my mind and not my throat closing up, like it feels it is.

Any ways yeah, so I wet on a little shopping spree, had to stop myself half way before I spend all my savings on things I don’t need, but I got some lipstick stuff which is meant to stay on and the next book in a series I’m reading – The House of Night.

Things with the holiday to Croatia – at the moment, who knows where it’ll be too soon – aren’t going as smoothly as would have been preferable, at the moment we’re waiting around for one of the others to confirm she can come or not and she avoiding us at the moment, so I’m thinking it’s a no, but she doesn’t want to have to not come and miss out and all that jazz, so she doesn’t want to say, but the things is, if we don’t get stuff booked, it’s going to keep getting more and more expensive and then we all won’t be able to go and I’ll have to go back to plan me, solo travelling. I’d much rather travel with my friends.

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