How much can you take?

I know I’m self destructive and pretty messed up. I mean my counsellor basically told me she thought I was bipolar, but since she can’t diagnos she wanted me to go see a specialist, but I’m not willing to do that yet.

Any ways, that’s not the point here.

Today it was really slow at work. I mean really slow and I’m having an ‘up-ish’ day, so things relatively well. As usual when they get bored the bar staff, came into the kitchen to harass us girls, well I say harass, but it’s more banter than anything that drastic. Although at one point one of the guys, was trying to unhook our bras, so make of that what you will.

I don’t know if it’s just because it’s been a while, but I know that I shouldn’t be trying to catch the attention of my co-worker, in that way… You know what I mean?

But still today it was all flirting and playful and all that jazz. So now, I’m just annoyed at myself. I mean I can’t start something with a co-worker. It’s the ‘don’t shit where you eat’ rule. Same as house/flatmates. Although if you’re about to leave, that rule is… flexible.

Speaking of house/flatmates. I’m still looking for some, or rather a place to live for next – uni – year. I’ve got some prospects, but things juat aren’t running smoothly. Especially with one of my flatmates, the one who I said I’d live with next year – I’m ot one to go back on my word, unlike her – is going away on Wednesday and the University letting place, isn’t open on the weekend. Then I have another couselling appointment on Tuesday, plus I have to go to the doctors, before that, at some point, I’m not sure when I’m going to fit that in and of course I work all day during the weekend. So we’ve got some obstricles.

And things for the summer just aren’t looking too good either. Well my friend did find a place we could stay in Lanzarote, which is under £200, including flights. Which is good. Right now I don’t really care too much whether we go, I just want to get it all sorted, so that I know how much I’ll be spending, because I want to get a tattoo, around Easter time – I think Easter anyways, we’ll see. I might not end up getting it, because I can’t find a place I like the art of, or I can’t decide which one to get or whatever, reasons… Right now I’m thinking the dragon eating it’s own tail, because it’s the smallest and therefore probably going to be the cheapest and least painful, as I’ve never had one before, I have no idea what to expect on the pain front. I like to think I can deal with pain quite well, but it’s not like I’m regularly subjected to it, so who knows, right now…



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