Worth…less than that…

So I’m procrastinating, because I have the last 2,000 words of a 2,500 word essay to write and I dont know how to write it. Call it writers block, although I guess it’s not really.

I suppose it could be because I’m feeling completely and utterly worthless at the moment, like scum of the earth worthless. Like if I just up and disappeared no one would notice. Oh that kind of sounds like I’m going to do something stupid, I’ve thought about it, but I’m not going to. At least not really…

Everything just been about work and my health and I just want… to get away. I suppose that’s my MO, I run. I mean I’ve been running since I was about 7 or something, so it’s just what I do, in the metaphorical sense. Although I do like running, in the none metaphorical sense. I’m just not very fit at the moment, so I don’t think I’d be any good at it. I mean I don’t have a reason to literally run very often.

Everywhere is getting all Christmasy, and I’m just not feeling it. I mean I’ve started buying Christmas presents and sent my family my Christmas – wish – list, but even with the center of Bournemouth, which I walk through to get to work, being all light up with Christmas light and music and everything like that… I just feel like… an outsider. Like I’m in a foreign country and they’re celebrating something, or I’m at someone I don’t know birthday party or something like that – get what I’m trying to say.

Perhaps I’m just stressed or tired or something…

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