This is drunkenness nosense…

I’m going to have a hang over tomorrow.

Why am I drinking on a wednesday night? you ask… Well why aren’t you drinking?

No I’m joking – kinda. The reasons I’m slightly verging on the edge of getting drunk right now, is because things have not being going right this… month and I’m processing… or something to that effect – did I use the right word there?

So right I usually drink, mildly when I’m writing my University shit, but this time I’ve gone for the more heavy options, because things have gone wrong.

But I’ve not lost that friend I was talking about before, he’s just a self centric arse, but I don’t have the right to be bitchy, since I’m me and all that jazz.

We accept the love we think we deserve.

For me that none.

Oh boohoo right? Well I throw myself a pitty party/torture myself – I mean not in the girl soppy way, I mean in the old fashioned pisoner way, if you get what I mean – once a month or so and no it has nothing to do with my circle, unfortunately if it was that then I would be ok-er with it, because it… natural or something like that, but no I have to be mentally unstable, despite how stable I can fake, because I’ve had years of practice.

I can’t leave the flat. Does that sounds stable to you?

I’ll be back to suppressing it by the morning and when Saturday comes around I’ll have to leave, because I’ve got to go to work and calling in sick is not an option, because I don’t know their number. I’m forcing myself out.

Probably for the best and all that jazz.

Wow this one has been a… revealing one or something to that effect – is that right, I can’t tell right now?

But I’ve got stuff to do, i.e university shit, so I’ve got to hold off on the torture, hence the drinking. I maybe slowly destroying my body, but at least I can fake sanity nicely for my friends and family and the rest of the world while I’m at it.

God if someone I knew read this, is would be terrible. Better not let anyone know about this blog then, hmm…

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