Like a stray cat with sore feet, that smiles just a little too wide…

So today was meant to be my day off this week, since starting work, I haven’t had one, but I went a took another shift at work, which means that no day off, but I did get Sunday off this week and next week is reading week, so no University.

I was meant to go on a ‘date’ with my new friend from the fetish website, let’s call him Mr. C – for his username – but I cancelled at the last minute, to be honest the more I learn about this guy the less I want to meet him. I was going to give him… the benefit of the doubt or something, but after giving him my number – which I now regret – he just seems so… I don’t know extraordinarily ordinary, plus he’s overly clingy and we haven’t even met yet, what’s going to happen once we do, and he likes cats, alright I like cats, but he prefers cats to dogs – if you don’t get why this is a problem for me here, then don’t worry about it, it probably seems trivial and stupid to most people, but people that get it, will understand.

Any ways, I’m going to see how the rest of the week goes and perhaps meet him next week, or start ‘avoiding him’.

So my friend, who is also one of my flatmates, is slightly mad at me, well she was, but who knows if she can hold a grudge or not. She has anxiety, which is something that I thought I had, but I have no idea and to be honest I haven’t been able to label half my problems up until now, so it doesn’t matter too much if I got the label wrong, it’s not like I go around telling people or anything, so it’s not too important on that level at least. But any ways, so I told her I had this date with Mr. C and she wanted to know more about him, so I told her, he was older and that we met through less an organic means, but then she started asking all these questions about our date and I sort of shut down.

I guess I’m so used to living alone and not having anyone care about where I am and when and just being able to be a… stray cat, so to speak, that I just didn’t want to tell her too much. Maybe I just wanted to see what happened? But either way she got annoyed, because I won’t tell her where I was meeting him, to be honest at this point I had half made up my mind to cancel the date anyways, so I didn’t really think I would be going. Plus I still haven’t told her I have a job. At first it was because she was also looking and I didn’t want to like rub it in her face, but now I just like it.

I guess I always liked my secrets, well maybe not always, when I was little I hated keeping secrets, I have always been good at it. I mean perhaps not my own, but other people sure. I was the one my friends would tell their secrets to, but that was back when I was just small and fluffy and cute and what not.

I guess it’s also because it’s been going so well and I don’t want to jinx it. Because I can easily compartmentalize, if I keep her separate from the whole thing. I’ve told my father, mainly because I wanted to know that I’m doing alright and all that jazz, although it looks like I might not be able to have a family Christmas, because I have to be here for work and I’m not sure how people would feel about coming down here for Christmas.

But everything is going well with work and I’m getting along great with my co-workers, I think I’ve got them pegged – on a basic level at least – although one of the guys that works there all the time, is so cute, he has an accent, but being me and crap with accents I can’t tell where he’s from, but his mannerisms are just too cute and the girl that works behind the bar on the weekends, at least Sunday, is super cute as well, she’s a year younger than me and is applying to university at the moment, but she seems to be a little nervous around me, which I don’t blame her for, because apparently I can be intimating, but I try to smile as much as possible and all that jazz.

Ah, I got my official letter of employment today, although there is a probation period I didn’t realise I had, but I’m cool with it, plus I got my first ever pay slip, I earned £83 last week, although it’s going be a bit low this week. But my boss said that if I wanted them I could have extra hours next week, since I have the week off and all.

As much as I would like the money, I’ll have to prioritize University work over work work, plus I have to go into the Hospital at some point, to have them look at my eye, since I’ve been self medicating all week and I want them to give me more medicine and all that jazz – does that make me sound like a junkie? I may have started smoking more than socially, since I now smoke at least 2 cigarettes at work, but I swear I’m not a junkie, the only thing this medication can do is give me really horrible hallucinations and hurt my eye. I’m not sure if that made my case or not…

Moving on. It’s official the girls are coming down for Halloween, hence why I got Sunday off this week, don’t want to be trying to get up at 8am with a hang over, when I only went to bed 3 hours before.

It should be a good time..!


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