Give ’em what they want…

So I was on the statistics page of my blog – thing – as all bloggers are once in a while and I was just looking at what search terms people have used to find my blog, because that can be interesting, when it can tell you. The whole unknown search term is getting old, guy!

Any ways one of the search terms that landed someone on my blog was… (drum roll) ‘wild scratching sex’. Honestly when I saw this it made me laugh, if someone came onto my blog looking for – I’m guessing here – porn or something of that nature, I’m sorry but they’re going to be disappointed. I mean I don’t not talk about sex, but I don’t just talk about sex, although if you were in my brain recently then that one of the main subjects you would be hearing about – I’m horny, it happens. Onwards… This person was either from the USA or the Philippines, now I kind of want to think they’re from the USA, mainly because I know next to nothing about people from the Philippines and don’t want to make assumptions, but then again they are people… So this search term led them to my main page or my post; The suns out and I’m out…

It kind of annoys me when I can’t find out exactly which post people view, because they don’t click on it and just view it through the main page, but hey ho, I could do something about that, but the question is will I?

So books have been arriving all week… Why am I blogging about books arriving?

Honestly recently things have been a little rocky. Maybe it’s because I’m riding the red river, as some people say, or maybe it’s because I didn’t eat very much last week and when I ate a whole bowl of soup last night, it made my stomach hurt so much, it made me want to make myself throw up. I didn’t because that’s a slippery slop and I don’t want to go there.

There’s isn’t really very much going on in my life, apart from the increasing desire to run away from it. If I won the lottery right now, I would probably use the money to run away to a different country… at least for a while.

Money one of the other main topic of discussion inside my head, oh and of course therapy and sex. I’ve been thinking about going back into counselling – as they like to call it these days – but then with the time it took to get me and appointment last time, I think it might be best to just wait till I go back to Bournemouth. That is if I go back. Because I got my results, did well on my summer exams not on my winter ones – I feel like I’ve blogged this before, about the lack of eating around that time which lead to me not doing well on that exam.

But I’ve pushed exams to the back burner, leaving room for other topics to come to the forefront. Just as the ever looming sex. Honestly sometimes I feel like a stereotypical guy when it comes to this subject, but then it has been a while, so I think my… frustration is understandable. Also I’ve been reading a but of BDSM (ish) blogs lately – well not really a lot, but more than before – which has just made me a little sad about the lack in my own life, but unlike some girls that I’ve read about, I’m not willing to put myself in a situation where I can easily get hurt, as ironic as that statement is – it’s got to be the right kind of pain, I guess. Plus I’ve sort of got to get a hold of my dominant side because I sue anything relationship-y there, don’t want dom envy or anything like that – come on there’s sub envy or there’s got to be dom envy. But I know I’m way more submission than Dominant.

I was reading this blog today where a submission was talking about her fantasies and one of them was to be tied up, beat and fucked in a forest. Now to be honestly the whole public – well public-ish in this case – place being a turn on, has never really been something I’m into. Maybe it’s because I’m a little bit of a paranoid person or something, but I don’t think I’d really be able to get into it, if I was constantly worrying about someone seeing me, but then I get why people find it to be a turn on and if I’m honest reading this girls blog did make it sound hot, so now I think maybe I’d try it. But then again I do like to think I’d try nearly anything once – I say nearly because there are some things I know I would never do!

Although with the whole public places thing, I think I might have to build up to actual fucking, so from a kinky –  i.e. BDSM – standpoint I think I’d been alright with walking around in bondage for a bit. I know I like wearing collars. Honestly I’m a bit of a bondage virgin, but also a bondage freak, especially with rope, maybe it’s one of those things where I’ll get to the critical point a realise the fantasy is not the same as the reality – which would be very depressing – but after learning a little about Shibari – Japanese rope bondage – and when I say a little I mean I’ve probably only scratched the surface, I have a feeling – optimism at work – that that won’t be a case for me.

But any ways it’s late here and I’ve… got nothing to get up for tomorrow, so I should go to bed and all that jazz.

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