Losing logic in the waiting game…

So I went out with the girls yesterday and saw that film ‘If I stay’, which I think was quite good, although all my friends seem to think that there should have been a different – long – ending, but I’m on the fence about that. The one it has leaves to the imagination a little, which is nice, rather than having everything spelt out for you.

After hanging around the city a little, doing a little shopping for university, we headed back to mine, to meet another friend. But by the time we settle down to watch films and drink, I was exhausted, I’m not sure why, maybe because I had my appointment with my counsellor and it was quite an emotional one – since she was really digging around in the nitty gritty stuff and I told her about my weekend – or maybe because I’m all anxious about the fact that mother nature has yet come to say ‘hello’, although I’m trying not to think about that, at least until the end of the week, then I think it’s alright to freak out and all that jazz, but I’m hoping I’m just stressing over nothing. If not that I’m going to have to tell the father and go see the doctor, which I’m sure will just be bags of fun, I don’t know if I’ll tell the guy though, it’s not like I would keep it, so I don’t think I really have to, although he might end up hearing it through my friend, because I’ll probably end up telling her – you know us girls we tell each other everything, well nearly everything.

So to keep my mind off the topic, I might start doing some packing today, although I’m not to sure where to start, maybe with my clothing, but every time I think about packing my clothes, I go out or something an end up taking my my clothes out to decide what I’m going to wear, so the packing just doesn’t happen, but now I’m thinking I won’t be going out as much next week and although I’ve got some stuff planned for this weekend, I can just not pack the things I think I might wear then and pack other things. I’ve still got to get a couple things, but I think I’ll either get them this weekend or on Monday, so all that’s good.

So recently I realised that I have a strange sort of logical way of doing things. It’s like I don’t want to get hurt or hurt other people, but I don’t want to regret not doing things, since I wouldn’t rather regret doing it, than not doing it. But I seem to be making myself do something that I am regretting, but I don’t know how to fix that, or maybe I don’t know how to fix it without there being an outcome that could hurt me and possibly someone else. But since I have a strange way of seeing nearly all the outcomes – in a way – I know that there is one where both parties could end up not getting hurt, alright there’s quite a few, but right now it seems those couple were one or both of us gets hurt seem to be the thing holding me back, because despite my efforts I have formed an attachment to them, but I have a feeling that comes with the territory.

It’s just a little weird for me, because I don’t usually have such a problem letting go, especially someone who I don’t know that well, so this is all a little new and weird to me, but I thinking that I might just get over it with time, hopefully.

So my new phone came today. I got it free with a new pay monthly contract, since before I was on pay as you go, but the father insisted that a contract would be better for university, so in the end I got it. So I spent a while moving all my stuff from one phone to the other and then arranging for the number to be changed from the old one to the new one, because I don’t want to have to learn a new number, it took me something like 3 years to learn the one I’ve got now, given I wasn’t really all that bothered about learning it in the first place, but after I had had it for such a long time, I thought it would be a good idea to learn it, so I did. They say it’ll take 24 hours, so I’m not too sure which phone I should be using tomorrow, although I think it’ll be obvious if the number has been moved and all that jazz.

I also pulled a bunch of my clothes out of the closet to pick out outfits for tomorrow, I decide on something for the meal with the friend, but I’m not too sure about what I’m going to wear to go out with the girl in the evening, because I don’t really want to wear any of the dresses I have at the moment, so maybe I’ll see if I can borrow something from someone or something like that, but then again, I might just dress down a little and go with a skirt or shorts instead of the usual dress, we’ll see on the night I suppose.

Quote/saying of the day: A feeling of sadness and longing that is not akin to pain and resembles sorrow only as the mist resembles the rain. -Henry Wadsworth.

So I heard this recently. Interesting have these girls team up, I mean I’m not much of an Ariana Grande fan to be honest, I liked the song she did with Mika, although he looked a little… off in the video. But other than that I don’t think I’ve heard a song by her that I liked. I’m sort of on the fence about this song though, in a way I do like it, but then in a way I don’t. I don’t think I’m going to be rushing to add it to my music collection, but if it’s on the radio or what not I’ll probably listen to it.

I’ve been reading this book lately, well re-reading it. It’s quite an old one really, 1989. But I was feeling nostalgic recently, so I decided to read it. It’s ‘In the Kingdom of the Carpet Dragon’ and is about a princess and her pet dragon and these adventures they have during her birthday celebrations. It’s a children’s book, so I’m getting through it like nothing, but it brings back memories. Even when I know what’s going to happen I still like re-reading books and re-watching film and all that jazz. I always seem to end up watching films twice, even ones that I may not have liked very much, I’m not completely sure why, but yeah I just do.

I’m still not sure which books I’m going to take with me when I go, because I don’t want to take too many, since I don’t really see myself doing very much reading, but I want to have a selection and all that jazz.

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