To jump from a plane without knowing if I have a parachute on…

So today was results day. That nerve racking day that a large number of people, including nearly everyone I know, wish would never arrive and then it does and it’s all over or rather all beginning.

I was meant to wake up early and head into the city to get my results and that’s not what I did, I woke up early looked at the clock, turned over and went back to sleep, allowing myself to momentarily forget it was results day, but not for long, but for long enough for me to miss my bus. So I went online and spent a few annoying minutes battling with my own mind to remember my login details, before confusing myself over where to look for my results and when finally I found them, I just stared. I could hardly believe it, I check and I didn’t get the grades to get into my chosen universities, so I cried a little and then went on facebook to congratulate my friends on their personal achievements, the A’s and B’s slapping me in the face and making me wish the ground would just swallow me whole.ll

Then the father came in, asking about what my results were and if I wanted a lift in. It was horrible having to tell him I hadn’t got the grades, so he did what he does, question me – or rather interrogate me on what I was going to do now, go through clearing, do a third year. I didn’t want to even think about doing a third year, so clearing it was.

So just for something to do and to keep myself from bursting into tears, I logged into my email and what was sitting there an email from UCAS and under that an email from Bournemouth university, both congratulating me on getting into BU. It was like… jumping out of a plane and thinking you didn’t have a parachute, but finding out you actually did just in time, to open it and not come smashing down to earth.

So after taking a moment or a hundred to let in sink in. I thought yay, now I can relax a little, not so, today was a slightly hectic bustle of student accounts and applying for accommodation, which apparently I was meant to do weeks ago – oh dear – but I still got a room in a small house, with a think 3 other people. You had to fill out with little profile, which the other residents would be able to see, age name and they asked for a short statement, which I declined to give – although I wasn’t the only one. So I’ll be spending the next year living with a 18 year old girl who apparently likes to socialize, a 30 year old guy, who I know nothing else about and a mysterious person, because they wouldn’t let me see the profile on them, but that doesn’t really matter, as long as they are nice and all that jazz. I thought it was best to go for a smaller house, less people to the number to showers and other facilities and also the other smaller places only had one person confirmed and I thought it best to know a little about the people I’ll be living with and all that jazz, than live with complete mysteries – although one of them will be, for some unknown reason. I also signed up for the buddy program they have, so apparently I’ll be getting a buddy and they have a pizza, bring your buddy night, were you get free pizza, now I’m always up for free stuff, so I’m hoping my buddy is nice, so we can go to that and get free food – yay freeness!

So after everything was sorted, me and the father headed into town, because we had some errands to run and since we were already in the city, we ate out and went to see Guardians of the Galaxy, which I can honestly say I like. – This may contain spoilers! – The plant at the end was cute, although that bit didn’t really surprise me. But I’m wondering if they really will continue to make more films, since I think this one went down well, so I don’t see why not.

So along with a little accounting and some payments that need to be made, tomorrow will be filled with packing and working out and things to that nature, since I’m heading down to Cornwall this weekend and I’ve sort of let myself go to seed, so to speak. I know one day won’t make the biggest of differences, although one day of only eating 2 meals and no snacking, can drop my weight by about 2 stone, but still, one day of healthiness won’t change that much, but I’m still going to try,since I’m hoping for sunshine so I can get my bikini out, before the summer ends – and the work begins. And even if it does rain I might be that one insane girl that wanders around in short shorts and a bikini top like she isn’t shivering in the cold wind and doesn’t have goosebumps all over her arms and can still feel her toes and fingers – although that does be a slightly desperate and almost completely insane move, but what can I say, I’m a little insane, as my therapists will one day most likely tell me, in her over polite way, with her big eyes staring at me, in that slightly creepy ‘I never blink’, way that they do.

And when I get back in 6 days or so, the brother is coming back, but before that the Grandparents have come over – from Jamaica – to see all their lovely grandchildren and children and all that jazz. So yeah the house will be bustling and I’ll be trying to pack for University and sort out all the things I’ll be needing – pots and pans and mugs and cup and all that domestic jazz. Oh the joy.

Quotes/sayings of the day: All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history. ~Joan Wallach Scott

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet. ~Stanislaw Lec

Alright so today I put a triad of sayings/quotes of the day, because I couldn’t choose one that I liked the most, so look over all three and perhaps they will make you wiser…

So I’ve liked Gabrielle Aplin since I first heard her song, ‘Please don’t say you love me’ and this song is lovely – in it’s our right – so there it is.

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