It’s the only time these days that I actually feel like me any more. It’s not like before when I felt like I was putting on a show for the world, hiding behind a mask of my own design. It all comes so naturally now, no wonder no one has yet to call me out on it, sometimes I find myself believe it, but it’s not just a shell any more, it feel like me, but not me. It’s like I’ve created an alter ego or something. The feeling is close to what I think walking around in someone else’s body would feel like, I’ve just got so good at being them, that no one notices that it isn’t them. Sort of funny in a morbid sort of why, but what the hell, whatever get’s me through the day and all that jazz.
I’ve been having these headaches recently, by that I mean the past couple of days, but today has been the worst. I don’t know if it’s because I’m coming down with something, or because I’m so tired, then again it could be because of my glasses, I was wearing them basically all day today, but I’ve never noticed this happening before, sure I sometimes get a little sore nose, because I think they’re too tight, but nothing like this. I’ve been trying to hold out, but I think I’m going to have to start taking pain killers again, which is something that I don’t want to do, but needs must and I think I can deal now, or at least I hope I can deal now. If I’m going to deal with the faults of my past, then I might as well take them all on together and if I fall apart, I’ll do what I always do, pick myself back up again and hope I don’t leave any piece behind, because it can be frustrating putting a puzzle together only to find one or two pieces missing.
So I found out today that apparently someone I know knows a rapist, although it seems to be debatable as to whether or not he really is a rapist, I think the act would be considered rape and in doing so that makes him one, but the way that it was told to me, it seems like he isn’t one mentally or anything like that.