Letting the new year in with the promise of fulfilled dreams

So I went to my cousins for the new year, hence my lack of a new years post, there was a lot of fireworks, although not all of them our own and some sparklers and it was all very fun and nice and I’m glade I went. I think I just got myself in a funk over actually achieving my life’s dream, as this is something that I have wanted to do since, well since I started writing so at the very least 13 years, sure that’s not the longest of time, but thinking about the amount of times that I could have died then it’s actually quite some time – sorry for the morbidity and all that jazz.

We went out for a meal at this restaurant near there house, because unlike me they live in the city and live a stones throw away from places to eat and drink. Although being with the family did mean that I had to pass up on the cute guy that I met, it can be nice to just dress up for the sack of dressing up, not that I really did dress up. I wouldn’t call shorts and a top that I had just spent the journey there in dressing up, it was more of a casual look for the evening and honest I would have looked completely out of place next to the others and since I wasn’t feeling like standing out, especially as the last time I went to stay with my cousin people thought I was in the local gang, I think blending was best, at least for the night. But I got my Christmas present and gave them theirs, although unluckily I got two of the same thing, but I didn’t tell them that, and I think I might be able to get a good price for it, so yay me. And this morning I got a bit of writing done, although inspiration wasn’t really floating around their place, to be honest it’s a bit of cesspool for sucking inspiration inside their place, maybe it’s just because I’m at odd with my aunt’s decorating style or something, but I really was getting blocked, even with spending half the night before lying awake thinking about the plot – my cousin snores, loudly.We headed into town on new years day, even with the horrible weather, it wouldn’t have been so bad if it had just stopped raining or the wind had stopped, either one, but no they persisted and most of the shops were shut or closing down, because the streets gave you the impression of a zombie apocalypse that we just didn’t seem to know about, but I did get some things from Top Shop. A shop that I don’t frequent, because of it’s outrageous prices, but in the sale, things looked brighter and I got myself these really cute play suit, that is made to look like a jacket. I’ve been looking for a jacket dress for a while, but this play suit will pull me over until I find the real thing. I also got this pair of red shorts with Ying Yang symbols on them and I shoulder-less top that I am in the process of remaking into a ‘pick up line’ top, as I’m going to paint ‘I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?’ across it. I’m still sort of in love with tops with writing on them and they have proven to work for me, so why give up a good thing? It’s not hurting anyone!

So yeah over all the whole trip wasn’t as soul sucking as I thought it could become, although I did become a bit of a bitch – in my head – by the end of it, because I am now very hormonal, horny and irrational. A combination that I think quite a few woman will be able to understand every 28 days or so. For those of you that are oblivious to what I am talking about, it’s my time of the month and what I lovely time it is. I hate getting annoyed at every little thing, but everything just seems to annoy me and I’m not sure why it has to be this way, but it is. Can’t fight fate and all that jazz, although we do try our hardest.

So moving on before I get too personal. I’m heading round to a friends house tomorrow and I’m not too sure how things are going to go. It could be absolutely great, which is what I’m hoping for. Or it could be a blood bath, but with the intervention of one of our mutual friends, who is quite a bit younger than us, I’m hoping everyone will keep things PG or something like that.

So I’ve decided to stop being a good girl and start dating again. I’m bored with being single, but I’m going to take it slow and not rush into things – is what I say now. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but me being completely bored the way I am can lead to someone getting hurt and me getting hurt, so I’m being completely selfish and putting myself before others – alright I’m only bored in the love department not the rest of my life really. I’m still not too certain about my friend that apparently has a crush on me, but since he hasn’t contacted me in about 2 weeks I have a feeling that his feelings aren’t that strong or that he’s over me – I say hopefully, not that he’s not a great guy, but I think I might break him. And with him out of the picture I feel free to date and be happy about it and not like I’m flaunting my lovers in his face or something, not that he’s ever met one of them. That’s another things I’ve been meaning to change about my way and will probably do in the coming year. Actually let my friends meet my guys. Before this point I’ve actually sometimes gone out of my way to make sure that my friends don’t meet them. At least some of my friends. If they already know the guy then there’s no helping it, but the friends that I hang out with most of the time these days have never met one and I made sure of it. But I’m going to change that. The next guy I get ‘serious’ with I’m going to introduce them to – I say now, but probably won’t end up doing. But then I don’t really get super serious with anyone. I mean I’ve never even been in love with anyone and that’s getting serious. I can’t say for certain, but I don’t think anyone has ever been in love with me either, so I suppose it’s fine. I mean no one has ever said that they love me, when their not intoxicated that is. I’ve had many ‘I love you’s from intoxicated people. I think it’s just one of those things that people say when they’re in that state, I mean I think I’ve said it once or twice.

So as to not leave that dangling out there, I think I might already have someone on my radar – I really couldn’t think of a better way to say that, hence the creation of the ‘pick up line’ top. But whether or not he’ll take the bait is something else entirely, because I’m not going to take the direction full frontal approach to this, although new aspect to this years me, less direction in the love life situation, at least while I’m still taking it slow, being indirect, will diffidently slow things down.

I’m still planning for my birthday and I’m not sure if the others want to do with joint thing, but if they don’t then I have an idea of what I might do and if they do then I have an idea about we could do. So basically I have idea about how I want to celebrate my birthday this year, also I’ve been helping my father work out how he wants to celebrate his birthday this year, because it’s a big one and some people would say the half way point others would say one foot in the grave, but I think I’m going for the first one, I’m hoping my father will live for a many more years.

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