Silencing my dreams to sit in the corner

So as it turns out I didn’t end up having my dentist appointment, as the dentist wasn’t in, because his wife was having her baby – so congratulations to them and all that jazz. But I rescheduled for Monday, although that might have to be rescheduled as well, because of the baby.

But today wasn’t really all that much of an interesting day or anything, although I did do a little work on what I am now calling ‘The escape’, but I still haven’t really worked things out properly yet. I’m also looking to get my drivers license – yay! I wasn’t sure if I was going to bother, but now I think it might be the right thing to do, but I’ll just have to wait and see.

I’m hoping that tomorrow I can get things moving, not on the escaping front, but on something else that I’m working on at the moment, although oblivious of it up until recently, I want to conduct my own investigation to find out more, before I reach my verdict.

But on to more interesting and wildly despairing things, such as my future. I know now that the path I’ve been intending to follow, is very hard, much harder than I had first thought, but there’s still a part of me that wants to try and follow it, although I also want to do something else. I’ve always been interesting in beauty and I want to pursue that, styling to be honest, but then there isn’t that big of a market for that kind of thing that someone can just jump into it, with little to no preparation. I used to want to be personal stylist, but then who wants one of them in this sort of time, was the thought that helped to drive me away from that, then a nail artist, I used to do my mothers nails and hoped to graduate to earning from it when I was older, but that got drowning in the shadow of wanting to become an author and so didn’t see much of the light of day. I’ve always loved making others look beautiful, hair, nails, make-up, clothing, that’s what I want to do, but then I don’t think I’m that good at it and there aren’t that many people in my life that need styling in that way, so there isn’t much practice to be had, although I still know what’s trending and seem to be able to know what’s going to become popular before it does, although most of time I don’t really realise that I have worked it out, before everyone else. I also felt that my lack of personal beauty would hinder me in this line of work, because I always thought of people that worked in this line would look beautiful and so attract people to ‘want to look like them’ or something like that.

So since I believed or do believe the dream to be impossible, I put it to bed and try not to think about it. Although it’s still there at the back of my head, but my friends have gotten over dressing each other up and all that jazz, so just sitting in the corner or something – have no idea where that one was going.

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