So recently I have had this sort of epiphany, well I say epiphany, but it’s sort of more letting myself realise what is actually going on. Something I’ve been repressing and now I’m letting myself realise it, not that I didn’t know about it before or anything, just that I didn’t want to know that I knew about it or something like that, so it is sort of a realisation of great truth, but just in the sense of myself, so like I said sort of an epiphany. But it all came about because of my friend, I suppose I should be thanking her for having that argument with my other friend, because if that hadn’t happened then I wouldn’t have been part of the conversation or ‘intervention’ – as my friend called it – that happened and then those thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind since, wouldn’t have lead me to having this ‘epiphany’. So yeah I suppose a thank you is in order here. So because of all these facts plus the epiphany, I have decided to stop dating, I believe that with the knowledge I now have allowed myself to realise makes it unfair to the other party, even with my sadistic tendencies lining up to smash down the door and flood out, I’m holding them back and doing what I believe is the nicer thing, although it does mean it little time alone, but that could be good for me and all that jazz.
I’ve been shattered the last few days or maybe last few weeks I can’t remember any more, that’s the first thing though. I was talking to someone about the past and it got me to thinking when my sense of time became so messed up. I mean time in the present is fine, but then time in the past is a bit harder, more like my memories don’t come with time stamps like they used to, so it’s hard for me to make out time after it has happened, days, months, years, it doesn’t matter it’s all just bundled in there, so I have to work it out and most of the time I get it wrong. But I’m used to it and I think over time it might get better, at least that’s what I hope. Although only time will tell, I suppose. But please excuse any sentences that just don’t make sense I’m a little out of it at the moment, but since I feel like I haven’t blogging in a while, I want to get this one done.
So I’m actually meant to be writing an article right now, but because it is about science and science fiction, I have a lot of research to do, but it’s not going to well. However I have to hand it in tomorrow, but I don’t think I’m going to get it done, however I might get to have a little extension and this is only the first draft of it and since I get the day off Friday I might get the weekend to get it done and make it pretty and all that jazz