On the bus in the eye of the storm

Sometimes I feel like fate is sitting on my shoulder whispering encouragement in my ear, just so it can smash me back down again. Recently things have been going, well not the best but a hell of a lot better, even the several medical things seem to be less of a problem. And I was starting to think, oh maybe that things would be all great. Well at least that the sky would stay blue, but in spite of this optimism the sky turned grey and the storm began. Now at the moment I feel slightly like I’m sitting in the eye of the storm, watching the world get torn apart and just sitting waiting for it to be my turn.

(My life is like the end of the Italian Job, the original/ good version) – haven’t seen it, go watch it right NOW!

Any ways so today wasn’t the best of days as you might be able to tell from my paragraph of metaphors and tomorrow isn’t looking to be a bundle of joy either. I just sort of feel like I’m going back in time and things are all getting bad again and to be honest most people are being kind of selfish, so I’m being selfish. I know that’s not really the way to handle things, but at the moment I just can’t be bothered to be bothered. Maybe that’s harsh and maybe I should be there more for people, but I don’t want to go back to being ‘trying to be there for everyone and ending up feeling like a have no one at all in the world’. They were dark times for me and I’m happy to have shaken them off – mainly – so I hope you get why I wouldn’t want to go back, so the sake of saving someone from themselves or perhaps each other, when they could actually work it out without me. Not that I’m saying that I don’t care at all and if someone asks I will decline and I don’t want to be excluded so much that at the end of it, I’m just sitting on the outside looking in the rain spattered window – if you get what I’m saying – I just don’t want to take too much of an active role in the whole thing, just to have it blow up in my face, that’s all and as I said it maybe really selfish, but I’ve got time to repent of such things, but you grow older by the second, we’re not young forever, now are we.

Speaking of forever, I’m still trying to devise a plan that will enable me to live forever and I think I’ve cracked the surface of it. I’m not saying that there is complete certainty, but I think I’m on the right track, or I’m staring at the right track, trying to work out if it’s the right track. But that’s not the point the point is that I’m going to live forever and ever and ever and never – hopefully – die. Although I will grow old and probably get some nasty disease and spend a large amount of time thinking about my youth, just as I’m sure, many other older people, like I will be, do. Not that I’m saying that’s all elderly people do. I mean a lot of them are just as active as we youngster, maybe actually even more, than a lot of youngsters. I mean my Grandma used to do a lot more exercise than me, but at the moment she can’t because of her knee, being all banged up. But we’re all hoping she get’s better soon.

I just heard this song yesterday and I haven’t heard it in a while, so yeah… here it is. Plus it’s sort of lightens the whole post up a bit – doesn’t it?


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