I believe in nothing more than the irrational idea that I can and I am immortal. In these few days that have passes I found myself wondering ‘why’. Alright so that happens quite a bit with me – and don’t asked about the old timey writing style alright? – why did I have to wake up half an hour late, why did I get an eye infection, why do I suddenly have an allergic reaction to something, why am I not taller, why don’t I go live in Japan.
The answer to the majority of all questions is that we are not who we think we are. Alright slightly cryptic I know, but in essence simply the truth.
If I was describe myself in a short sentence or paragraph it would be different to the way my friends would write it and different to the way my family would write it and most likely completely different to the way the guy that winked at me this morning would write it. So out of all these many different people, who am I?
Am I the person I think I am? No
Am I the person my friends think I am? No
Am I the person my family thinks I am? No
Am I the person that guy thinks I am? Yes, wait No!
To be honest some people would say of course not you’re all of these people and more, because most people would concentrate of a trait, the trait that shines the brightest to them when you are around them. Maybe the person you would describe yourself as is the closest to the person you are when you are alone, but that doesn’t make it you.
I am the girl who got straight A’s in all class tests and I am the girl who failed all her exams. I am the girl with the bright and blossoming future, with nothing to worry about and I am the girl that dies of a stress related disease, because I couldn’t stop worrying. I am the girl who is addicted to sex and I am the virgin you want to marry. I am the girl who likes the taste of blood and I am the girl that is squeamish and can’t watch horror film. I am the girl that stays out all night and I am the girl who is afraid of the dark.
There is no way to describe yourself and you cannot be summed up in one word, because no matter who you are and no matter where you are going or what you have done. You are an infinite whirlwind of possibilities.
Alright so now that I’ve got that out of my system, done to the nitty gritty. I’ve decided that I want to get a tattoo. Now I have no idea what I want to get and since this is one of those things which is mostly likely going to stay with me for the rest of my life -literally – I think I want to make sure I’m getting the right thing, because I don’t want to wake up one day look down at it and just think ‘what was I thinking?’ I know a lot of people don’t really think about it too much, but I mean I’m not one of those people, also I think I’ll get it somewhere that you can easily cover it up, so that when I’m old and grey I won’t have to show it… De ja vu!