So yeah… My week seems to be in a steady downward spiral. I mean at the start of the week I had a few things that were weighing on me, but now I’m basically being crushed by them.
I know that things were meant to be changing this year, but they don’t seem to be taking a change for the better.
To start with I’m having trouble sleeping, which means I’m extremely tired. I’m also not eating enough and when I do eat I tend to get sicky. I don’t know if I’ve got a cold or something, but I’ve been taking vitamin tablets just in case I am – hopefully it won’t last. Then there the mountain of things I have to do by next week and this test tomorrow, that I am not ready for. There is not enough hours in a day, but at least today I got one thing out of the way and I’m hoping to get another done tomorrow, but at the moment it’s looking like that won’t be happening.
I also basically got dumped. I mean it wasn’t an official relationship, but we were basically going out and well as all my relationships do, we fell apart. I mean he didn’t really dump me, not properly – that’s something I suppose.
I’m also getting overly anxious about getting my blood results back. I was meant to get them back ages ago, but now I have to go to Birmingham, at some point, for more tests, which probably isn’t a good thing – I hate being medically interesting.
To put it basically I’ve been in and out of hospitals since I was about 6 years out, so I’m used to the places, but sick people sort of freak my out, I think it’s because I HATE being sick and so I’m afraid of catching something or because I was made to watch my mother slowly die from an illness and that’s sort of put a very horrible memory of illness in my mind, so yeah.
But at the moment I’m basically a walking time bomb and that’s just wonderful – that was sarcasm for those of you who missed it. The doctors and what not that I have been seeing, seem to be able to find nothing that explain… me. So it’s hard for them to treat me properly.
So maybe the not being able to sleep thing is due to anxiety or something?
So any ways today was kind of rough day in itself and I think I may have been a bit mean to my friends, but I just wanted to be left alone, because I process things best alone and I didn’t want to have to explain everything to them, because well I’m not too good at the mushy stuff, when it comes to myself at least – you can ask my ex-therapist.
Wow this post was a little ranty and mushy.
I’ll lighten the mood.
I watch the film Identity thief today. It was pretty damn funny, but I saw the ending coming. I liked the bounty hunter guy, he was good. So overall it was a good film – normally I would have more to say, but I’m starting to get tireder (finger crossed I sleep) so I made it short and simple.